I just celebrated my thirty-year OA birthday. My eating has evolved over the years, and my abstinence has changed many times. To stay on a food plan, I have to work the Steps and the Tools at all times.

When I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia, I had to break my meals in half and eat every few hours. I was afraid of changing my plan and letting the tiger out of the cage five or six times each day—would I be able to stop? I turned it over to HP and my sponsor, and life got better. I didn’t have to wait as long to eat, and my blood sugar leveled so that I was no longer hungry all the time.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had to work with my sponsor to create a new definition of abstinence: to nourish the child and my body. Afterward, I could not eat vegetables and could not get my weight off no matter what I did. Hormonal imbalances and lack of sleep were devastating. I had to go to a deeper level of surrender, and the food obsession for the first time ever was completely lifted.

When the baby started crawling, I lost 15 lbs (7 kg), the last of my pregnancy weight, but my weight kept dropping. I was so tired I’d fall into bed with dinner still sitting on the table! I had to put self-care on my list, ask for help, and eat to get my energy back.

I joined a running club. Before OA, I only exercised to lose weight after a binge. But I gained weight running marathons because I thought, “Oh, I just ran twenty miles, so I can eat whatever I want.” I was eating bigger portions at each meal. So I had to change again, and food needed to become only fuel so my body could perform and recover.

In midlife, after a car accident, I could no longer exercise. I had to remember to love my body and thank it for its service. I also had to focus on healthy eating and not on weight loss. I felt the struggle all over again, having to give my weight to HP.

Aging brought other issues. I had to avoid dairy and gluten as much as possible. I really didn’t think I could do this. Instead of making an abrupt change with a diet mentality, I worked with my sponsor to make gradual changes.

Today, my food plan is to nourish my body, not my emotions, but there are days when my spiritual or physical condition doesn’t allow me to hear the still, small voice that says, “That is enough” or “This is a better choice.” That’s when I go back to what made me successful initially: writing down a food plan the day before, committing it to my sponsor, going to three meetings a week, and making more phone calls. The Steps and Tools remain the answer, even when abstinence changes.

— Debbie P., Laguna Niguel, California USA

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