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Light and Color

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I came to OA at age 25 with only 10 to 15 pounds (5 to 7 kg) to lose. That was twenty-six years ago. Before OA, there was darkness: guilt, remorse, shame, fear, paranoia. I built a wall to protect me. I even wore mostly black. I was bingeing, purging, and starving. I was smoking, drinking, and using drugs. There were periods of control and exercise and periods of no control nor exercise. All of it revolved around food and what other people thought of me. I had no relationship with a Higher Power—a belief in one, but no relationship.

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