No Disrespect “Don’t dwell on any real or imagined pleasure you once got from certain foods. Change the channel!” (Before You Take That First Compulsive Bite, Remember . . .) Even after years of not eating my trigger foods, I have the habit of not going down supermarket aisles that contain the non-foods I used to worship. If by chance my husband … Read More
Rediscovery and Realizations There are so many things I am grateful for in my recovery. Here are a few: First and foremost, not doing that compulsive hand-to-mouth behavior. Early in my recovery, a large part of the “pink cloud” for me was euphoria at being released from decades of abusive eating. When qualifying, I shared that I was amazed at how many of … Read More
Becoming “Other Wise” Tradition Twelve: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all these Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. If it’s not happening already, it’s just a matter of time in these rooms before you experience a relationship or acquaintance you do not like. It’s natural; we’re all human and none of us are perfect. However, I challenge your character … Read More
A Change at the Checkout My trips to the grocery store became much different after I became abstinent more than ten years ago. Many aisles no longer held anything I could safely purchase. The remaining aisles got greater attention from me, and to this day, I read labels, check portion sizes, and compare prices. There is one aspect of the grocery store that gets my … Read More
Meditation: “Quality Time” This is a story of my relationship with HP, whom I choose to call God. I did all of my Steps up to Step Eleven. The Eleventh Step said for me to pray and meditate. I was good at praying and asking for what I wanted, but staying quiet and listening? That was all new to me. All I knew … Read More
Gifts Abundant and Accessible My area is blessed with a face-to-face meeting that occurs at noon every weekday. As a young professional, I’m thankful for this regular lunchtime meeting, though often, when I am able to make it, I’m rushing in and out between work appointments. Rushing, to be honest, is a byproduct of some character defects I’m asking my Higher Power to remove: … Read More
Teddy Bear Self-Esteem My self-esteem was low when I first set foot in these rooms of recovery. I was addicted to feeling bad about myself. I set impossible standards and felt shame every time I fell short of my ideal. When I did an impressive job, I wondered why it wasn’t an excellent job. When I did an excellent job, I berated myself … Read More
Urge Surfing “What can I do instead of eating, when the urge arises?” In 1994, if someone had posed this question to me, my response would’ve been, “Don’t eat.” The result would probably have been compulsively eating and bingeing. This was prior to finding OA, and I was in a cycle of dieting, starving, compulsively overeating, restricting, self-loathing, and eating in secret. … Read More
Acknowledging the Backstory Back in the twentieth century, it still felt okay to ridicule fat people. They seemed so cartoonish. Who could resist poking fun at them behind their backs? Today, I know that gossip is despicable. The obese are the last objects of scorn and prejudice, aren’t they? What did we ignorant people know of their inner lives? In a memoir I … Read More
More Kindness As far back as I can remember, I never felt truly loved by anyone. Different issues and circumstances in my life reinforced this belief over the years. As a compulsive overeater, I sought comfort in food and used it to try to numb some of the hurt I felt deep inside. As a result, my weight climbed higher and higher. This caused me … Read More