Astounded and Amazed I believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity because it has been proven to me over and over in so many situations. Moreover, I believe that only a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity because I never could stick with any plan of eating when I was relying on my own Power. … Read More
Reworking the Basics How did I get to the point of isolation? I binged; I ate to numb myself from my problems and stress, my disappointments in life. I was embarrassed by my eating behavior and didn’t want to face my friends, so I withdrew. I forgot what I’d learned through working the Steps; I forgot because I stopped working them. I forgot … Read More
The Day’s Help My life has been changed by Step Eleven. My whole life, I’d been searching for connection with God and had a desire to do his will. (My Higher Power is God, but as you read this, fill in your name for your Higher Power and use the pronouns that work for you.) But I was unable to connect to God … Read More
Foundation for Spiritual Growth When I was 16, I left the religion of my family and began a deep search for meaning. I thought I’d found my answer and settled into complacent spirituality until the age of 35, when I came into OA. As I began to understand the Steps and work them, I approached Step Three with confidence. I had already investigated my … Read More
Callback I am just coming back from a bingeing relapse that started with me eating two pints of ice cream as an appetizer. I went out searching for a 24-hour grocery store at 4 o’clock in the morning on Christmas Eve to buy ice cream. I ended up at a gas station in an area so crime-ridden that there was an … Read More
When Choice is Not an Option Over the years, I’ve heard people in our Fellowship speak about having “choices” when it comes to food and eating: “the choice to eat healthy or not” or “the choice of bingeing or not.” While this might be true for some, I feel compelled to speak to those for whom the notion of having choices does not apply. I know … Read More
Back from Relapse I am a grateful, recovering anorexic, exercise bulimic, and food addict. I have four wonderful years of abstinence. I came to OA in 1996, and by 2002 I thought I had graduated. I stopped going to meetings, making my calls, and writing down my food. I suffered through two years of relapse—starving my body, mind, and spirit—and came back in 2004. … Read More
Recovery Gold For me, the disease of compulsive eating is like the best friend you love to death and stick with no matter what, until you notice she is crazy, hurts you, lets you down, and doesn’t give you the support you once got from her. Then it hurts so much that you want a “friend divorce,” but you also can’t believe … Read More
All-In Abstinence Planning Lately, I have been comparing my OA journey to someone else who has decades of abstinence. I know through working the Steps that comparing myself to others is one of my shortcomings. I did not get abstinent at my first meeting, nor can I say, “I have not relapsed.” I want my story to be different, but I can’t change … Read More
Surrender for Freedom I felt fat from the time I was in kindergarten. Though only slightly heavier than other girls, I was obsessed with my size. I always daydreamed of returning from summer vacation magically thin, suddenly popular, and beloved. As my disease progressed, it morphed through an all-consuming cycle of binge eating, dieting, and exercise bulimia—of self-loathing and self-punishment. After ten years … Read More
