I am a grateful, recovering anorexic, exercise bulimic, and food addict. I have four wonderful years of abstinence. I came to OA in 1996, and by 2002 I thought I had graduated. I stopped going to meetings, making my calls, and writing down my food. I suffered through two years of relapse—starving my body, mind, and spirit—and came back in 2004. …

For me, the disease of compulsive eating is like the best friend you love to death and stick with no matter what, until you notice she is crazy, hurts you, lets you down, and doesn’t give you the support you once got from her. Then it hurts so much that you want a “friend divorce,” but you also can’t believe …

Lately, I have been comparing my OA journey to someone else who has decades of abstinence. I know through working the Steps that comparing myself to others is one of my shortcomings. I did not get abstinent at my first meeting, nor can I say, “I have not relapsed.” I want my story to be different, but I can’t change …

I felt fat from the time I was in kindergarten. Though only slightly heavier than other girls, I was obsessed with my size. I always daydreamed of returning from summer vacation magically thin, suddenly popular, and beloved. As my disease progressed, it morphed through an all-consuming cycle of binge eating, dieting, and exercise bulimia—of self-loathing and self-punishment. After ten years …

In 1994, I hit bottom. Food no longer filled the hole in my soul. A sense of hopelessness and futility was constantly with me. I had reached what was my heaviest weight of 335 pounds (152 kg) and doubled my size in just four years. I was a graduate assistant working as a tutor at my university’s writing lab. One …

I have been in the rooms of OA for five years. I have been relieved of 91 pounds (41 kg). I have been in and out of relapse and have heard many stories of fellows who suffered terribly in this disease. I did not understand the phrase “we use food to stuff emotions we do not want to feel” until …

I have experienced the 100-pounder (45-kg) status twice: first as a newcomer, and three years later after a six-month relapse. Recovering, I reached a 30- to 40-pound (14- to 18-kg) loss and then plateaued. I felt like nothing was working. Desperate people are willing to take desperate measures. I finally admitted I needed help from a food sponsor, who was willing …

I began the most recent chapter of my OA journey by facing the futility of a sixteen-year relapse. I admired nothing about myself, least of all my body. I had weight-loss surgery in 2001, yet I’d managed to gain back all the weight I’d lost plus 25 extra pounds (11 kg). I weighed over 300 pounds (136 kg). I had …

Over twenty-two years ago, after six years of being in OA, I finally accepted that there were certain foods I could not begin to eat without developing uncontrollable cravings. My six years of recovery/relapse cycles and my thirty-five years of yo-yo dieting were suddenly explained. It was clear: In order for me to be abstinent, I had to eliminate those …

Before March 2014, my life was full of self-hatred, fear, and isolation. I took the phone off the hook and ate all day and night. At one point, I ate myself up to 323 pounds (147 kg). I had been in and out of OA since 1974, and I was desperate. I needed OA badly, and I am now back …