First Steps Recently I was visiting with my 1-year-old granddaughter. I noticed that she kept kneeling, sitting, reaching down to the floor and then back up, sitting, kneeling, and pushing herself up. She kept doing these movements, up and down, up and down, over and over in all different ways, almost like she was warming up for something that she was getting … Read More
One… and… Two… and… I have been in OA for six and a half years. I have struggled with relapse but also have had long stretches of abstinence. I believe a Power greater than myself can and will (in time) restore me to sanity. My sponsor asked me to write down the actions I take for Step One and Step Two. My goal for … Read More
Powering Through Came to believe in a Power greater than myself—that’s where I got stuck. I couldn’t get past me. I was all wrapped up in my old beliefs about religion, God, and church. I became a prisoner of my beliefs, my parent’s beliefs, and other people’s conceptions. I never truly felt a positive connection with a God of my understanding. My … Read More
First Love I’m in love! I’ve been in love for almost twenty years now. I’m in love with the First Step! While others may find comfort in prayers or religious passages, I find comfort in these words: “We admitted we were powerless over food—that our lives had become unmanageable.” My romantic history is almost as chaotic as my battles with food. I’ve … Read More
Step 12: Someone to Protect Having had a spiritual awakening in this program, I now view myself as a unique and precious child of God. It has transformed my approach to myself. But when I compare myself to others, I feel “less than.” Since I am unable to eat the foods they eat and perform the simple behaviors they do, I conclude there’s something wrong … Read More
Step 11: Learning to Listen My first Step sponsor told me I could begin to practice Step Eleven early in my OA program. I did not need to wait until I had worked the preceding ten Steps. Prayer for me, until then, had just been asking God for things I thought I needed; basically “God, please give me _____.” But my sponsor had me stick … Read More
Step 10: Dirty Laundry I was in the launderette flicking through one of their magazines when I saw something I quite liked. “This is just a secondhand magazine,” I thought. “It won’t matter if I rip this page out and take it home.” I tore out the page discreetly, hoping no one would see. (The first sign of dishonest activity: secrecy!) That evening as … Read More
Self-Subtraction In a meeting many years ago, people with strong long-term recovery shared on the topic of placing Principles before personalities. They said they had learned, over the years, to focus on what was shared rather than who was sharing it. This reminds me of a slogan my spiritual teacher shared with me: “Peace equals this moment minus my opinion of … Read More
Step 9: Honest Effort In one of my meetings this week, we were asked to respond to a question from the Twelve Step Workbook of Overeaters Anonymous regarding Step Nine. I chose “What is the purpose of Step Nine?” (p. 65). I completed my first Step Nine amends the first year I joined OA, but I never fully answered all the questions in the … Read More
Step 8: Admission and Prayer Step Eight asks me to own up to who I am in relation to other people and myself. Working with a sponsor helped. I returned to OA after a relapse, during which I quickly gained 40 pounds (18 kg). After a suicidal crisis, I realized I would slowly eat myself to death if I continued. I received the gift of … Read More