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Could and Would

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For thirty years, I was bulimic, but I have not purged in almost eight years. When my weight reached an all-time high of 293 pounds (133 kg) at 5’11” (180 cm) two years ago in February, I decided I’d had enough and was going to get weight-loss surgery. But the surgery center didn’t want to operate on me because of my history of bulimia. Instead, they suggested I try OA.

I had tried OA. I’d tried it a few times, but I wasn’t ready.

The center told me I had to see a diet doctor for three months before they would evaluate whether I was a good candidate for surgery. That June, I started going to OA meetings as well, and I really listened this time. My plan was to have the surgery and use OA to keep the weight off because I knew surgery was not a cure for compulsive eating. I “hired” a sponsor right away and told her I had to follow the diet given by my doctor. I followed the diet and started losing weight. After attending enough meetings, I decided: if I could lose the weight (I could), and if I would still need OA to keep the weight off (I would), then why mutilate my body by getting surgery?

On July 19, 2016, I called the weight-loss center and told them I no longer wanted surgery. On that day, I declared my abstinence!

After a few weeks, my sponsor asked me to start sending her my food plan each day. I told her that wouldn’t work, but I’d give it a shot. I am still doing it every day. I also started working the Steps. Now I sponsor several people and do service. I helped open a new meeting in an area that had none.

Tomorrow, I will have one year of continuous abstinence. My food plan is never perfect—it was, and still is, very flexible—but it is getting tighter all the time. I learn which foods to avoid, and I don’t eat them anymore. I now weigh 191 pounds (87 kg)—that’s a loss of 102 pounds (46 kg). I’ve gone from wearing a size 26W to a size 14.

I have terrible arthritis. Before OA, I could hardly walk and was thinking about getting a wheelchair. The weight loss has not cured my arthritis, but now I can walk fairly long distances. I can wash the dishes, go down to the basement to do the laundry, get up and down from the ground when I garden, and I can clean the house. I feel like a useful human being again.

The best parts of recovery in OA are these: how much I have grown spiritually and how much help I am able to give others. My sponsor told me in the beginning, “If you do the work, your recovery will be beyond your wildest dreams.” I didn’t believe her then, but I sure believe her now!

— Cathy R., Pennsylvania USA

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