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It’s All Worth It

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I came into OA at 18 years old. I’ve been in program for two years, so I’m 20 now. Let me tell you, in the beginning, it wasn’t so easy to gain abstinence and honesty. Even though I’d never really struggled with a lot of weight gain, nobody really knew how much I struggled with food because I looked like a normal eater. I remember wondering how some people could eat just one, when I could down the whole bag. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and hopeless, like my life was ending. I was bingeing at night until I was so full I’d be in a food coma for days, and I feared that I would never be able to stop.

But that all changed one day when I decided to seek any help I could get. My eating had gotten way out of control in just a few months, and I didn’t want to live like that anymore. So I showed up at OA one random day, and I kept coming back.

It has taken me a lot of work and patience, but what I’ve learned is that it’s all worth it. I can now say that my dreams of being a better person are all coming true, thanks to the Tools and the Twelve Steps. I am now living my own dream, always moving forward, never back, which takes a lot of acceptance of myself and life. I can do what I used to think was impossible: Emotionally, I can handle my feelings like HP would have me handle them. Spiritually, I’m meditating, and I never give up on myself and HP. Physically, I’m pursuing my dream of being a bodybuilder in bikini competitions, and I’m inspiring other people to do their best as well.

Who would’ve thought that, though I’m not a normal eater, I’d end up doing fitness competitions and inspiring other people, even those who aren’t in program?! My journey in OA has been like no other. Something that really stuck with me is this: to never give up on yourself even if you’re still eating compulsively. It takes work, but recovery is worth it and it makes life worth living. Passion is the driving force both for this program and your new life, and passion always wins.

— Anonymous

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