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An Act of Grace

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I woke up late this morning. On my way to the kitchen for breakfast, I decided I’d just eat dry cereal instead of taking the time to cook my regular porridge. I wondered if I was being lazy, but the cereal is of good quality and non-sweetened. I measured it into my bowl. When I opened the cupboard to pull out my spices, a big jar slipped out of my hands. On its way to the floor, it hit my bowl and made it flip. And there went the flakes, all over the counter, the stove, and the floor.

I heard Higher Power chuckle and then the words, “Keep coming back. You’re worth it!”

After vacuuming (and having a laugh), I began to prepare my porridge. I had an awareness for which I am still very thankful. I’d always thought “Keep coming back” related to attendance at meetings, but this morning, it took on a new meaning: “Keep coming back to me, Higher Power.” That other voice, the one that was justifying my first food choice, is the disease. I’m worth more than the disease, and I was filled with serenity.

I’m also thankful for this: I had in that moment an awareness of a symptom of my addiction I’d never thought of before. I am notorious in our family for being clumsy. Why did that jar hit the floor this morning? I wasn’t paying attention. In other words, I was not living in the moment. When I am in the disease, I am not living in the moment.

I am thankful for the progress I have made in letting go of many outlived survival strategies (character defects). I look forward to becoming more and more present to what is in front of me (and maybe more graceful, too!). The miracles of program just keep coming. I am thankful for abstinence. I am thankful for the Steps and the Tools. I am thankful for the Fellowship. Blessings to all.

— K. Canada

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