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Crazy Prayer

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“Many of us had asked God to help us control our weight and this prayer hadn’t worked” (The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, p. 15).

Yes, I am one of those askers, and if the definition of crazy is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results, then I’m one of the crazy ones! For the past forty years, I prayed to God, my Higher Power, asking, begging, threatening, and bargaining, for a miracle, and time and time again, nothing happened. No pull-tab appeared under my chin for me to yank off the fat suit. I never saw blobs of fat going down the shower drain. I never woke up magically thin as I realized it was all a bad dream. Sweets never tasted disgusting. Vegetables never tasted like dessert. (Come on—we have all pictured our miracle at one time or another!)

I would look at all the skinny people— they made it look so easy. But I failed to look at the right stuff. I failed to look at me. Here is the right stuff:

  • I have a disease, and it has little to do with just pushing away from the table.
  • God has been talking to me for years, just not saying what I wanted to hear.
  • I have other chronic diseases, and God has not made those disappear either.
  • Sometimes life sucks, and it is not fair. It requires some kind of work every day, and there are no magic potions or free passes.

So there it is. God is ready, willing, and able to help. My HP has handed me just Twelve Steps to follow. My HP will be by my side, cheering me on, listening to my fears, holding me when I feel alone, smiling at my progress, wiping my tears when I falter, and even giving me a tribe of OA members to be there in physical form and remind me that I can do this.

Edited and reprinted from Monarch Monthly newsletter, The Three Rivers Intergroup, November 2014

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