HP’s Child

People look at me and form an opinion: appearance does influence people’s thinking. If I’m overweight, others might think I’m undisciplined, but what they don’t realize is that compulsive eating is an illness. I am a person of color who has been in OA thirty-five years. I have around a 50-pound (23- kg) weight loss. When I came in, I listened but tried to prove to the program that this was not an illness.

When I was young, my father was a carpenter. This was at a time when people of color were not accepted in the carpenters’ union, so he had to take odd jobs to supplement his salary. He worked from sunup to sundown to help support his family of nine. He did a great job encouraging us to know that we are God’s children, God loves us, and with hard work we could be anything we wanted.

Money was not in great supply then, so when I became an adult and felt good about myself, I got some of the things I wanted: any food; flowers if I needed them; travel if I liked—whatever I wanted. People of color often eat without thinking about calories. We use food for celebrating: birthdays, anniversaries, baby christenings, funerals, a raise at a job— anything. I picked up weight even though I was exercising—I am 5 feet 4 inches tall (162 cm), and my top weight was around 195 pounds (88 kg) at 5 feet 4 inches tall (162 cm). I finally realized that my eating was an illness.

I learned that family health history plays a part in my own health. Diabetes runs in my family. I watched five of my sisters and brothers die from it. That was one of the reasons I joined OA, so I would not have to die from this disease.

Will food kill? It can if people don’t eat well and do the things that help keep us healthy. Through the Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous, I don’t have to live like I was living. Some foods are my trigger foods, so I try to stay away from them one day at a time. I’ve changed my food plan when I needed to. I pray and meditate daily to help me stay in contact with my HP, which is God. I am somebody; I am HP’s child.

I am thankful for OA—the people I meet and the places I go—because the program helps me deal with life on its own terms. By now I’d probably be dead had I not found OA.

— Mary F., St. Louis, Missouri USA