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New Resonance

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When I first came to OA, I was aware the Twelve Steps required belief in a Higher Power, but I felt spiritually broken after a traumatizing event with my church. I wanted nothing to do with religion or God.

Still, I was desperate for hope and help with my compulsive overeating, so I went to meetings and tried to keep an open mind. Every time I heard “God” and “Lord” I cringed, and I didn’t know how to get past it. Turns out I was in exactly the right place.

A sponsor suggested I create new meanings for God and Lord. I spent hours contemplating and soul-searching and came up with “Giver Of Direction” and “Loving energy Orchestrating my Recovery Daily.” “He” became “Higher Energy.”

I have a more personal and clear picture of God now—even beyond the acronyms—yet it seems to change daily. It’s like any good relationship: when you sit down and talk and listen, you learn new things. I’m sure my definition of HP will evolve as our relationship evolves.

For now, I’ve printed out a new definition of God. I read it daily, and it reinforces my new spirituality, leaving the pain of past religious experiences far behind. I know I am on a healing path.

HP, you are a flow of powerful and loving energy that desires connection with my heart, soul, body, and mind, and you are already connected to everyone and everything in the universe. You are a guiding force quietly and constantly orchestrating people, events, and circumstances for my greatest good, joy, happiness, and fulfillment. You are never late, never early. You are always compassionate and kind. You are my most trusted teacher, counselor, mentor, and friend; a source of strength, understanding, serenity, peace, and beauty. You want all the good things I want—for myself, for animals, and for the world—even more than I could ever imagine. There are no requirements with you, only sincere willingness to seek and trust. You are a perfect listener with excellent communication skills. I recognize you in the cool breeze, the warm sun on my face, the sand under my feet, the rain, the clouds, the trees. You are everywhere I go. You are a quiet, steady, strong force in my minute-by-minute life. You are a presence that provides comfort, quiet, and calm in the midst of overwhelming thoughts and circumstances. You are my partner and companion, and together we create a positive force for good in the world.

— Stephanie J., Orlando, Florida, USA

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