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No More Hiding

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I have a vivid recollection of a moment early in recovery: I’d just arrived at an OA meeting, a regular meeting I considered “home.” On the way to this meeting, I’d binged. Before exiting my car, I was fearfully and intently stuffing my wrappers and trash into the armrest storage space. And though I was alone in my car, I clearly heard: “Who are you hiding that from?”

Oh, snap. That’s right; there’s no more hiding in HP’s world. There never was, then or now, any hiding that is truly real. I credit OA for my spiritual awakening, which gave way to my ears hearing and my eyes seeing HP in my life, binge by binge, moment by moment. In that instant, HP nudged me to ask, “Who are you hiding that from?”

Sorrow, elation, relief, and frustration, but no more hiding. This proved to be my gateway to living honestly, hopefully, faithfully, with courage and integrity, willingly and humbly, with discipline, with love and forgiveness, perseverance, awareness of HP, and service.

OA ruined my hiding. I’ve been working the solution since October 2000, free from bulimia since November 2006, free from anorexia since February 2007. Thank you, OA. Thank you, HP.

— Maggie

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