The Still, Small Voice

There is a voice that lives within me. It is calm and soothing and always steers me to the right course, even when my will wants to go the other way. This is the voice of my Higher Power, ever steady and always present. When I’m faced with a difficult decision, this is the voice that guides me. This is the voice that soothes my fears—the voice of inner wisdom.

I know I can’t do this alone. Before I joined OA, the greatest length of time I could stay on a food plan was about two weeks. Then, the compulsion to overeat would return and I always gave in. I had no willpower. I dreamed and fantasized about my next meal; I never stopped thinking about food. Sweets and carbohydrates never filled me up. They only made me crave more, and when I ate more, I craved more. It went around and around like this for years, a cycle of not taking care of myself. Compulsive overeating for me was an act of self-hatred, because I would really hate myself for what I was doing to my body and spirit.

When I came to OA, a miracle occurred. I realized I could turn my food addiction over to the care of my Higher Power the same way I’d turned over other addictions. Turning it over was the only thing that would save me from the never ending desire to compulsively overeat. Now, I don’t eat when I’m not hungry. The cravings have left me. I believe I am witnessing a miracle in my own life, and I have seen this miracle unfold for all the people in meetings who share so honestly and openly. There is so much recovery in the OA rooms, and it’s very inspiring. I think, “Well, if they can do it, so can I!” Every meeting I attend speaks to me and often says exactly what I need to hear.

I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power because I know from experience that nothing else works, nothing else helps me this way. I can trust God to steer my ship in the right direction and keep me afloat when the seas get rough. I trust that still, small voice within because I know it is the voice of God. As long as I trust the wisdom, power, and guidance of that voice, it will never lead me astray.

—Rachel D., Delray Beach, Florida USA