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Attitude Adjustment

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During one of my regular OA meetings, something triggered an uncomfortable, awkward feeling that I couldn’t explain. As I made the long drive home, the feeling continued to intensify: I decided I would never attend another meeting. I knew how dangerous that thought was to my abstinence, but I couldn’t push it out of my mind.

The next day I completely isolated myself. I checked in with my sponsor and explained I was enjoying a relaxing, lazy day. It wasn’t until I woke up the following morning that I realized I was isolating. I’d been ruminating over my feelings for a day and a half.

At that point, I knew I had to take action. I decided to run errands so I would have to interact with people. I reached out to a close friend of mine and processed things with her for a while. I planned to skip my next regular meeting, but I also decided I would attend my Sunday morning meeting, no matter how I was feeling. I called my sponsor to explain everything I’d been experiencing. I reassured her that although I was still struggling a bit, I would attend the Sunday meeting.

On Saturday night, I came up with a couple of poor excuses about why I didn’t want to go. I shared them with my sponsor. She reminded me of my priorities.

I went to that Sunday morning meeting, but I made the decision to listen and not share. I didn’t want to be there, and I sure didn’t feel like talking about my recent experience.

There happened to be a newcomer attending. She was one of the last people to share, and as I listened to her, I found some similarities between her struggles and my struggles. I decided I wanted to talk to her after the meeting and explain how I experienced similar issues and how OA changed my life. After the meeting, she was in the middle of a conversation, so I started talking to other fellows. I found myself sharing my life-changing experience with someone else, saying exactly what I had planned to say to the newcomer. By the time my conversation had wrapped up, the newcomer was already gone.

As I drove home, I was processing everything I had heard both during and after the meeting. I thought about missing the opportunity to share with the newcomer about how OA changed my life. In that moment, my Higher Power reminded me that I’m enjoying life now because of OA. I had a sudden attitude adjustment and finally came back to realizing how important OA is in my life (and how important it is to continue to attend meetings).

Although she probably has no idea, it was that newcomer who renewed my strength and faith in my program. I only hope she returns so I can share my experience, strength, and hope with her—and thank her.

— Christina S., Tempe, Arizona USA

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