Gifts of Hope and Help

When I was 4 or 5 years old, I went to an AA meeting with my father. The only thing I remember about it is that they were having cake and my father would not let me stay for some. As with many early memories, this one lay dormant for many years.

In the late 70s, I read an advice column that gave information about OA. I sent away for the literature they offered and read the Twelve Steps. I decided the Steps were too hard. My early memory continued to lay dormant for many years.

My next encounter with OA came from a weekly shopping paper that featured local businesses. A small classified ad said, “Is food a problem for you? Overeaters Anonymous can help,” and gave a phone number. I called and found out about a meeting time and place.

I finally hit bottom one evening in March of 1984 and planned my suicide. I called my mom to let her know she had been a good mother and it wasn’t her fault that I could not cope with my life. I warned her that I planned to jump off a particular bridge that night.

She asked me, “Isn’t this the night you planned to go to that OA meeting? Just go to the meeting. There will be plenty of time to jump later on.”

I did as she suggested. When I heard the first reading from the beginning of “How It Works” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., pp. 58–71), I burst into tears and cried throughout the entire meeting. The words were familiar from that AA meeting nearly thirty years before, and I suddenly felt I had found my people. The meeting had about twenty OA members present; it was a round-robin share meeting and when it was my turn, I just sobbed, “My name is Nancy, and I am a compulsive overeater. I pass.” I don’t remember much about what anyone shared. I just remember I felt at home.

There was not much OA literature at that time, so I purchased the Big Book. I read it cover to cover that night, after letting Mom know I’d changed my mind about jumping. That first meeting gave me the gift of hope when I felt most hopeless. They gave me the gift of available help when I’d been helpless for so long.

I have never seriously considered suicide since that meeting so long ago. I am very grateful that my Higher Power brought me to OA so that OA could bring me to my Higher Power!

— Nancy S.