Beauty and Worth

I came into the rooms of OA in September of 2009. My husband and I were going to New Zealand in 2010 and my pride and ego could not face returning there while I weighed more than 280 pounds (127 kg).

Nothing I had ever tried before worked for very long, but then I overheard a woman sharing her message of recovery in OA with another woman sitting right next to me. Even though she wasn’t speaking to me, I heard that message. Now, I call that woman my angel. When the trip to New Zealand was planned, God reminded me of that message of hope my angel had shared, and God brought me to OA. In the beginning, I didn’t understand any of it, but I was willing to follow directions. I would do what others did in order to have what they had—abstinence, peace, serenity—and weight loss.

When I came to OA, all I wanted was to lose weight. How I would have shortchanged myself! But God didn’t give me what I wanted; instead he gave me what he knew I needed. I did lose 80 pounds (36 kg) and have kept it off since 2010, but that is not the greatest blessing I have received from this program. I learned that I am not alone, because we are all in this together. I am not defective, weak-willed, or undisciplined—I have a disease. I do not think about food the way a normal eater thinks about food. What a blessing and revelation that was for me. I also learned there is a solution. What a gift it is to live in the solution instead of in my disease.

I think of the days of my life as pieces of a puzzle. Some of the pieces have been beautiful and interesting, some more challenging and difficult to deal with. But I know the pieces of my puzzle come together, just as God weaves a beautiful tapestry. My life is ever-changing, but I believe God has known all the puzzle pieces of this life since before I was born. The beauty of the pieces and the speed at which the puzzle is now coming together are all parts of my life experience. My recovery in OA, as part of this wonderful worldwide Fellowship, has turned most of my life-puzzle into a beautiful, interesting story. At the very least, recovery has helped me find beauty and worth in each and every piece.

I believe that healing is in the Steps, so I attend two Step Study meetings every week and all the workshops I can. I heard this powerful statement at a workshop on the Tools of Recovery: “I’m sorry if you’re not getting the results you want from the work you’re not willing to do.” Recovery is work, but we are worth all the effort it takes to live in recovery. Together we can do what we could never do alone. Please don’t leave before the miracle happens for you!

— C.J., Illinois USA

Editor’s note: OA’s 2017 Strategic Plan is focused on growing OA unity worldwide. Region chairs and board trustees are contributing one article per issue on this theme.