From Me to We

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When I first came to the program of Overeaters Anonymous, I found out I wasn’t alone; there were lots of people who had the same disease that I had. What a relief! I no longer had to attempt to do this on my own, and I was offered the hope of recovery.

As I became aware of the diversity of our members—we all had common ground, yet we were all so very different— I wondered, how is it possible to get so many people to pull in the same direction for a common cause? I believe the answer lies in the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous.

In the Twelve Steps we find out how this program works. We discover the problem, the solution, and a way to work the program to find recovery from the killing disease that is compulsive overeating. The Twelve Steps, I believe, are about me.

I then came to believe that the Twelve Traditions are about we and also about why this program works. It goes beyond just a single person finding recovery, to a large group of very diverse people who are all seeking recovery but not all using the same methods. Tradition One tells us “Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon OA unity.”

After realizing I couldn’t do this alone and I needed the help and the support of the group, how did I go about finding recovery with ideas I didn’t always agree with? First, with the Twelve Steps as my guide, I found out what worked for me. Then I listened and absorbed recovery from the group, and found a form of recovery I could live with. I made it my own, but I used the experience, strength, and hope of the group as a guide.

Through the Twelve Traditions, I learned to listen with my head and my heart and to allow for differences. Differences actually bring us all together, since we pull together in harmony to find a common solution to our problems. I need to allow you the freedom of expressing yourself and finding recovery as you will. And I need to be allowed that same freedom for myself. Differences unite. Unity is a must if recovery is to flourish!

So we are encouraged to “place principles before personalities” (Tradition Twelve) and to remember the good of the group before the good of the individual. I can still believe what I believe, but I must take an honest look at my views: Are they for the common good of the group? Unity comes first. Recovery is no longer just about me but has become about we.

To me, that is true recovery in this program: to find the miracle of recovery, to pass it on, and to celebrate our diversity in all matters. We can do what I could never do alone. Thank you, God!

— Denise H., Ottumwa, Iowa USA

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