Changes on the Inside

Before I came to OA, my life looked pretty good from the outside: I had a job, friends, and a normal body weight. But inside, I was often fearful. I was disconnected from others, and I felt inadequate. I engaged in various compulsive food behaviors. Over the years my compulsive eating had gone up and down, but it was always a secret, always done in isolation. I realized my relationship with food was not healthy, and when I found my way to OA I was so thankful to find other people who isolated and binged like I did. Seeing others be honest helped me feel like it was okay for me to be honest about food and what was really going on in my life. I learned to be vulnerable and establish intimate connections with people.

Now, instead of hiding behind an “everything’s okay” façade, I can be genuine, whether I’m experiencing joy, fear, anxiety, contentment, or shame. I’m thankful that this has led to rich relationships with people in and out of recovery. I didn’t get abstinent right away, but coming to meetings gave me a source of unconditional acceptance and love when I was having difficulty loving myself. I still don’t have a perfect relationship with food or my body, and my interactions with others aren’t perfect either, but I continue to grow and recover in OA in ways I couldn’t if I was on my own.

From the outside, my life may look similar to my life before OA, but it’s the changes on the inside that keep me coming back.

— Andrea G., Harrisonburg, Virginia USA