Recovery Relationships From Mother to Child By admin Posted on May 1, 2018 4 min read 1 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Share on Reddit Share on Pinterest Share on Linkedin Share on Tumblr For many years I blamed my mother for conditions in our family that fostered my addictive nature and compulsive relationship with food. Because ours was such a confusing mixture of love and resentment, and because I never received the support and guidance I needed, I never thought I would want to bring a child into this world. Thank goodness for my OA recovery, which offered so many healing moments and opportunities to grow. By allowing myself to be nurtured and guided through the Steps, by learning how to lovingly pass on this way of life to sponsees and at meetings, I saw I did have the potential to be a good mother. At the age of 40, I gave birth to my daughter. Even with many years of recovery, I still relate to the line in Step Two that says, “We had to admit that we had not acted sanely when we responded to our children’s needs for attention by yelling at them” (The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition, p. 11). For the sake of our relationship, I’ve worked my program harder than ever, especially in letting go of my defects of being reactive and controlling—the very defects I resented in my own mother. The ability to own up to my mistakes and make amends has also helped make us close. I just returned from a wonderful cross country ski weekend with my daughter (she’s now college-age). Before OA, I used to ski all day so I could binge all night. In recovery, my family started the tradition of an annual trip to a rustic lodge. Early on, my biggest challenges were to adapt to the limited food choices, eat at designated times, and take in an appropriate amount of food because I was very active each day. With ongoing recovery, I realized that the bigger challenge was the give-and-take of interpersonal relationships in an environment where I had far less control than home. I am grateful I always travel with my Higher Power and pack OA literature to keep me centered, so I can be the mother that my daughter deserves, the mother I deserve to be (most of the time). — Anonymous
