Meditation: “Quality Time”

This is a story of my relationship with HP, whom I choose to call God. I did all of my Steps up to Step Eleven. The Eleventh Step said for me to pray and meditate. I was good at praying and asking for what I wanted, but staying quiet and listening? That was all new to me.

All I knew about meditation was that certain monks did it. I went and talked to another person about meditation and got some literature. The suggestion was to practice deep breathing and repeat or concentrate on one word, such as “mercy.” Well, I could clear my mind for about thirty seconds. Then my thoughts would be off on numerous tangents unrelated to meditation. But I kept trying.

At first, I understood how much God loved me and all the ways I was loved. Thoughts such as “I was cherished” and “I would be loved for eternity” came through, and I was absolutely overwhelmed because I didn’t believe I was lovable. As I continued to practice meditating, I began to understand new things from God, all of which were up lifting.

After almost a year, though, I’d still never gotten past about three minutes of meditation at any one time. I felt frustrated and asked God to help me meditate longer. I then understood from God that it wasn’t the length of time I spent in meditation that was important. The important thing was that I tried to meditate. This took away all my burdens and struggles about meditation time.

Now, I just meditate and understand what message God is communicating with me. I am so blessed. My spiritual relationship with God has continued to grow and improve. I look forward to meditating, regardless of how long it lasts or how long my mind can be still. It’s not the quantity of time spent, but the quality of this interaction with God.

I thank you, God, for this new experience with you. I thank OA for the Twelve Steps that have led me to a life beyond my wildest dreams.

— Char L.