Re: Direction

Many new members struggle with ideas and actions suggested by OA that seem to be strange, not realizing they are already living these ideas. For example, we are taught “abstinence is the most important thing in my life without exception.” How can anything be so important? For me, before OA, food was the most important thing in my life without exception. I resented being in any situation if I could not eat enough. I passed up several once-in-a-lifetime tours so I could eat. My gastronomical cravings came before everything else. Today, I make abstinence first instead of food.

Some of us balk when told, “Turn your will and your life over to the care of a Higher Power.” When I was eating compulsively, food was my higher power. I worshiped it and offered sacrifices many times a day. I went to any length to please this higher power; I turned my life over to the care of food. Today, I turn to a helpful Power rather than a destructive one.

When I came to OA I was told to live “one day at a time.” How could I live in today? I had to plan my whole life out or I would fail! Of course, most of my plans never became reality, because I was too busy planning. I was already living one day at a time—I was living tomorrow. Tomorrow I will stop eating certain foods. Tomorrow I will do my homework or study. Tomorrow I will clean the house. I put off until tomorrow distasteful things I hoped I would never have to do. Today, I put off doing those things that will destroy me. I still plan for tomorrow, but I do not demand the results I want.

I thought I needed willpower to lose weight, but my willpower did not solve my problem. What I needed was a divine plan and guidance from my Higher Power. With this energy and strength, I have both the “won’t power” to not practice the disease and the willpower to follow a sane path. Rather than practicing the disease, today I practice recovery. Instead of becoming more insane, I am working toward being saner, taking my own inventory instead of yours. Instead of worrying just about me, I consider both our needs.

I am certain I will do something today that’s connected to my disease. In this matter, I do not have a choice. But I can either become sicker or more well, and I do have a choice as to which direction I head. Once I have made the decision to go in a positive direction, I have the Tools and Steps that OA has given me, and knowledge and strength from my Higher Power.

— David K., Wilmington, Delaware USA