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The Tiniest of Cracks

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A couple of months ago, I had an evening when I was feeling so much frustration, irritation, resentment, and disconnection from myself and those around me. I texted my sponsor and said, “I don’t know how to allow a Higher Power to help me. I just have too much resistance. I know that the Power of love in the world exists and could help, but I feel too resistant and shut down. I feel hard and shut like a closed door, and I don’t know how to make an opening that can let any of that healing power in.”

She texted me back with a message that I’ve remembered ever since, “Of course you feel that way; it’s what resentment does to us. So even though you don’t feel like it and don’t think it will help, go ahead and ask the Power of love to come in. It only takes the tiniest of cracks.”

That last sentence is what really struck a chord and has helped ever since: it only takes the tiniest of cracks. I imagine a dark room with a small beam of light coming through a crack in the door frame and how that little bit of light can actually be enough to see by. Now when I feel totally shut down or overwhelmed by emotion, I try to remember that inside me is still a tiny crack where love can enter, where a Higher Power can reach through and soften the pain. Even the smallest sliver of willingness is enough to allow it in.

— D.S.

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