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If Only

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Before OA, I thought I was so unique with my secret of using compulsive eating to cope with fears, regrets, selfishness, and inadequacy. I also suffered from “if onlys:” “if only I would be more outgoing,” “if only I had a faster metabolism,” “if only I enjoyed exercising.” I felt so incompetent as a wife, mother, and employee. A friend suggested OA to me because I seemed desperate. The argumentative part of me said I had a home, a spouse, a job, and a toddler. I was miserable but not desperate. Another year passed before I went to my first

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