Spirituality Clarity Without Certainty By admin Posted on November 1, 2017 4 min read 2 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Google+ Share on Reddit Share on Pinterest Share on Linkedin Share on Tumblr “Our path in OA transcends weight loss and a return to emotional health.” — Seeking the Spiritual Path I have been in program for thirty-five years and I’m blessed with long-term recovery. I feel moved to write about my journey toward developing a relationship with a Higher Power. I’d grown up with a concept of a punishing, judgmental God I didn’t understand. We didn’t talk about God, but I knew in my heart that God existed; God had to be punishing me with this unhappy, dysfunctional childhood. Fast-forward many years to the day I walked into OA after trying every weight-loss scheme out there. OA members talked about a Higher Power and about a relationship I felt desperate to have. I’d never experienced a Higher Power leading me as others described. What was I doing wrong? I prayed, meditated, and wrote; I worked the Steps and used them as guides for living. These practices restored me to sanity. Yet I did not experience that presence I heard others talk about. I didn’t understand, but I decided to give up all doubts and questions and live as if I believed in that Higher Power. I still can’t bring myself to limit or define a Higher Power—I think I’m afraid a punishing God would be mad at me for getting it wrong! But I did have a recent epiphany: I don’t ever have to have a clear concept of God. What I do have is a clear concept of how my God would want me to live. I am to make choices that are honest, kind, and true to myself. This actually doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room. The clarity, however, gives me a great deal of comfort. I don’t know where this epiphany will take me or even where I need to go. I already have more blessings than anyone deserves. I am in my 60s and still enthralled with life and all the miracles that abound. For all this, I thank OA and my Higher Power—whom I don’t understand and don’t need to understand. — Terri B., Bel Air, Maryland USA Deepen your spiritual recovery with freely available OA podcasts, including episodes on “Spiritual Recovery” and about Steps Two, Three, and Eleven. Find them at oa.org/podcasts.
