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The Daily-ness of Surrender

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Surrender is a daily practice that I can choose or not: “the daily treatment that brings about our recovery,” as it says at the end of Step One (p. 7) in our Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous, Second Edition. All I have is a “daily reprieve” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., p. 85).

For my recovery, taking the first three Steps on a daily (there’s that word again) basis is crucial. I have to surrender my food, my food plan, my weight on the scale, the fact that my weight fluctuates, and the fact that I really don’t need to be weighing myself at all. In fact, I just put my scale in the garage again this morning as an act of obedience and surrender. I have taken back this obsession so many times in the midst of my recovery journey.

I have to admit (Step One), come to believe (Step Two), and make a decision (Step Three) all day, every day. Thus, the “daily-ness” of it all. I have this daily choice in all parts of my life: in my food addiction, in my recovery from alcoholism, in my marriage, and in my entrepreneurial business.

My entire life not just in the rooms of OA, and surrender means that I am willing to admit that. Surrender means that I am willing to stop weighing myself, again. Surrender means that I tell the truth and ask for help and keep coming back. Surrender means trusting that God knows my body, and as my Higher Power, he created me. Of course, my HP cares about my weight. Of course, my HP wants me to be at peace in my own body. Of course, my HP wants me to live in freedom and self-care, not in fear and self-loathing.

When I choose to surrender, I feel the amazing feeling of serenity. When I don’t, serenity eludes me. I want this gift in my life. I want it daily. So, I will go ahead and keep coming back.

— D.C.E., Dallas, Texas USA

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