Higher Power Spirituality A Change of Plan I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of working the Steps while being abstinent one day at a time. I know this because I am much different today than when I was either trying to control the food or else stuffing my face. The Big Book refers often to a spiritual experience or spiritual awakening; for me, that … Read More
Steps Never and Always Step One: We admitted we were powerless over food—that our lives had become unmanageable. When I read about Step One and think about my life—my crazy eating habits, the mental obsession I’ve struggled with—I can freely, honestly, humbly admit that I am definitely powerless over food. I have tried to control my eating most of my adult life and have … Read More
Recovery Working the Program Recovery Routine I work my program every day by doing a morning routine. First, I say the first three Steps. Then I say program prayers: the Serenity Prayer, the Third Step prayer, the Seventh Step prayer, and a shortened version of the Eleventh Step prayer. Then I say a prayer from my religious tradition for me and everyone I’m having trouble with, … Read More
Keep Coming Back Out of Compliance I’m not happy to say I’m working on surrender. The way I grew up, it was about doing better every time. Quitting was never an option. Then I came to OA and heard about this surrender thing. But I’m hardwired to do my best, so I followed program suggestions like a to-do list. I went to meetings, made a few … Read More
Relationships A Lead Counsel’s Deposition Surrender . . . surrender to the program, surrender to a Higher Power—for some reason, I have found it very difficult to surrender. I am a man. I am an attorney. No one becomes an attorney by accident. It takes years of hard work and dedication. My profession is filled with strong-willed people who want to be in control. I … Read More
Relapse & Recovery Surrender for Freedom I felt fat from the time I was in kindergarten. Though only slightly heavier than other girls, I was obsessed with my size. I always daydreamed of returning from summer vacation magically thin, suddenly popular, and beloved. As my disease progressed, it morphed through an all-consuming cycle of binge eating, dieting, and exercise bulimia—of self-loathing and self-punishment. After ten years … Read More
Abstinence How I Work It—Today In 2003, I was in my 30s and I couldn’t stop bingeing. In spite of the fat, depression, headaches, stomachaches, diarrhea, and isolation, I just couldn’t stop. So I came to OA, got a sponsor, and started weighing and measuring my food. My goal was to work the program intensely for one year and “get it.” (I had always been a … Read More
Steps Fear Removal I must confess: After nearly three years in this program, Step Three is the one I’ve struggled with most. Naturally, that’s the Step I’ve been asked to write about. I wonder if my Higher Power has anything to do with that! Like a lot of people, I experienced a childhood of abuse. I guess you could say I had a bone … Read More
Abstinence Controlled Response After ten years in OA, a cancer diagnosis pushed me to realize abstinence is a matter of life or death for me. Doctors told me my best defense was a normal body weight, regular exercise, and a healthful diet with lots of fruits and vegetables. Unfortunately, even though I had been in OA for a decade, I was unable to stay abstinent or reach … Read More