Gratitude Recovery A Curse and a Blessing As a child, I loved this fairy tale: A girl is born, and a fairy gives her the “gift” of obedience. At first, she tries to protect herself by keeping her gift/curse a secret, but when her father remarries, her bossy, jealous stepmother and stepsisters quickly discover she has no choice but to obey. Her life becomes unmanageable. Stripped of … Read More
Uncategorized Reframing the Puzzle Some of my worst character defects come out when I’m at work. As a perfectionist, I worry that I’ll make a mistake, but I also worry that I work too slowly. So I end up anxiously trying to find that perfect balance between checking everything again and again and finishing quickly. When asked to review the work of others, my … Read More
Tools & Concepts A Potent and Positive Influence After I’d been in OA about two months, stayed abstinent for more than thirty days, and finished my first three Steps, my meeting had a step-up ceremony. During it, my sponsor declared me ready to sponsor and gave me a sponsorship guide manual she’d assembled. “Sponsoring is a way of living Step Twelve,” she said. I thought, “Why do I … Read More
Steps Amending Fear and Shame Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. For so long, I’ve felt like I lived on an island inside a stone fortress. I lived this way because I believed that people wouldn’t like me and would eventually try to harm me. I hid my feelings, actions, and … Read More
Recovery An Everyday Clean Whenever I’m frustrated in my program or in life, or when my selfish, lazy self wants an easy way out, I try to remember that abstinence is like cleanliness. One bath, one toothbrushing, one housecleaning doesn’t last for a week, month, or year—certainly not for a lifetime. Each day I must work at cleanliness if I want the benefits. My … Read More
Steps Light Wash Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. I have a habit of checking how clean a drinking glass really is by holding it up to the light. A glass that looks so clean when out of the bright light can actually be very dirty, covered in fingerprints and all sorts of marks—it’s not fit to drink from. It makes me think of … Read More
Steps Define “Meaningful” Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character I just celebrated my fourteenth year in OA. That’s amazing to me and I’m so grateful that my obsessions with food, overeating, and dieting have almost always been lifted—or I can use Tools or white-knuckle it until the obsession passes, which it quickly does. I have … Read More
Gratitude Recovery Home Truths Here am I thinking, now that I’m an abstinent member of OA, it automatically means I’m an outstanding citizen within my family. But eavesdropping on a conversation between my wife and son lands a bombshell of a home truth in my lap. My son asks, “Mammy, do you ever wake up grumpy?” My wife replies, “Sometimes!” Then, after a substantial pause, “And sometimes I let him sleep on!” Dumbfounded, … Read More
Steps Hard, Healing, Emotional Work Step Five: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. I recently finished Step Five with my sponsor. I’ve done a Step Five before, but it’s been over a year since my last one. This time it was hard. Really hard. Those of us who have done a Step Five recall the … Read More
Share It Still Learning Just wanted to send a belated “thank-you” for the July 2017 stories. I especially felt blessed by the Step Study story “How I Ask”. The author identified one of my most troublesome defects, obsession with control, and then offered a helpful clarification: “or illusions of control.” What I have to keep learning is that I actually have control over very … Read More