Higher Power Instant Gratification It was Saturday night, and I was on my own. I was driving home to have my dinner, but I was accompanied by plenty of thoughts about food and finding a way to have just a little something sweet. After I got home and ate, I brushed my teeth and left my house to meet some friends at a social … Read More
Higher Power Spirituality A Mistaken Belief After almost ten years in OA and a physical abstinence of my own definition, I struggled with the fact that I was still stuck in obsession and compulsion around food. I had a way of eating that was more or less nutritionally balanced, but I still obsessed about knowing exactly what I was going to eat. I was alternating between … Read More
Abstinence Relapse Only Abstinence Food was my best friend for a long time. I had a troubled childhood, and excess food numbed the difficult emotions and gave me comfort. I managed to comfort myself up to 292 pounds (133 kg) by the time I was 26 years old, and I stayed close to that weight for five years. I tried every diet out there, … Read More
Share It Table and Field I was interested in the Lifeline article concerning kneeling while praying (“Prayer Positions,” October 2018). There is no way my knees will allow me to kneel for any reason. I start my day reading my OA literature, writing a thank-you letter to God, and praying while sitting at a table. In my younger days, I often sent my most fervent … Read More
Recovery Relationships Meditation: “Quality Time” This is a story of my relationship with HP, whom I choose to call God. I did all of my Steps up to Step Eleven. The Eleventh Step said for me to pray and meditate. I was good at praying and asking for what I wanted, but staying quiet and listening? That was all new to me. All I knew … Read More
Keep Coming Back Relapse Renewed Humility, New Peace I am a returning member, back in OA after many relapses over the past fourteen years. Earlier this year, after almost a year of abstinent recovery and losing two thirds of the weight I need to lose for my health, I began experiencing painful and disturbing digestive symptoms. It took months for doctors to diagnose the trouble, and in the … Read More
Steps Light Wash Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. I have a habit of checking how clean a drinking glass really is by holding it up to the light. A glass that looks so clean when out of the bright light can actually be very dirty, covered in fingerprints and all sorts of marks—it’s not fit to drink from. It makes me think of … Read More
Recovery Relationships Freedoms Gained in OA First, I can go into a supermarket and not have to buy the sugars and carbs I’m addicted to. What a freedom and relief that is! “Not today!” I think to myself with gratitude. Also, I have the freedom to be happy in life and enjoy its pleasures. No longer is that dark shadow, the curse of addiction, crossing my … Read More
Gratitude Recovery A Tale of Two Knees I have had two knee replacements in two years. The first time I wasn’t abstinent, but this most recent time I was. I want to share the difference. The first time I was in rehab, I was physically, spiritually, and mentally bankrupt. I paid an acquaintance, my eating buddy, to bring me non abstinent food. I ate sugar and white flour … Read More
Higher Power Spirituality The Road Narrows My twenty-ninth birthday in OA is approaching, and it is cause for renewed reflection about my program. I spoke to my sponsor a week ago and mentioned to her that I was thinking of not taking a candle this year. Other OA members on their birthdays pitch about life changes: weddings, kids, jobs, financial gain, or acquisition of cars. I … Read More