Relationships A Lead Counsel’s Deposition Surrender . . . surrender to the program, surrender to a Higher Power—for some reason, I have found it very difficult to surrender. I am a man. I am an attorney. No one becomes an attorney by accident. It takes years of hard work and dedication. My profession is filled with strong-willed people who want to be in control. I … Read More
Relapse & Recovery Surrender for Freedom I felt fat from the time I was in kindergarten. Though only slightly heavier than other girls, I was obsessed with my size. I always daydreamed of returning from summer vacation magically thin, suddenly popular, and beloved. As my disease progressed, it morphed through an all-consuming cycle of binge eating, dieting, and exercise bulimia—of self-loathing and self-punishment. After ten years … Read More
Abstinence Bumper Bowl I am a coordinated, intelligent, healthy individual, so my lack of skill in bowling would come as a surprise to friends and teammates. At first, I’d knock down a pin or two, but soon the gutter balls would begin. It defied logic. I experimented with different positions, ball weights, finger-hole sizes, and speeds, but in the end, I’d get so … Read More
Relationships In Losing, Men Win In my three years of coming to the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous, I’ve been moved by the profound ways I see the power of God working in the lives of my brothers. As a former church worker, I thought I had a corner on the God business. Was I ever wrong! Whether I’m in my Sunday morning men’s meeting or … Read More
Anorexia & Bulimia Don’t Do It Alone I am a lifer. My disease is such that I can never leave OA. I spent a lifetime struggling to control my food and body, and the result was a soul-wrenching desperation to find another way. My disease takes a form I call “classic bulimia.” I binged until it hurt, threw up, and then binged again. It wasn’t always end-on-end … Read More
Literature A Story and a Sign I was in a situation recently where I was required to wait patiently (not my strong suit); I got out an old Lifeline to help me behave properly. When I opened it, it fell open to the perfect article for me, a story that dealt with letting go of compulsive action and surrendering an emotion-packed situation to a Higher Power. My … Read More
Steps Step Seven Save My favorites among the literature are The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous and the AA Twelve and Twelve. Both books have helped me, especially with Step Seven. I struggle so much with the character defect of pride, and I find the antidote in the Principle of Step Seven: humility. Before OA, I didn’t even know how to … Read More
Steps Principle Links I think I always had honesty, OA’s First Step Principle. I was 15 in 1971 when the disease descended upon me, and I knew something had gone seriously wrong in my life. “A human isn’t supposed to live this way,” I thought, as I scarfed holiday sweets and felt an overwhelming sense that I would never be able to control … Read More
Relationships Feeling Present We buried Bibs today. He was almost 20 years old. Bibs helped me with my OA program in death and in life. Alive, he opened me to the insanity of my anger at his being a cat, insistent about being fed on his schedule, not mine. Writing about my anger, I discovered I was angry about my own food plan. … Read More
Abstinence Need–to–Dos These are things I do to maintain abstinence: I have a sponsor. Although I often complain, procrastinate, and argue, I eventually become willing to do what my sponsor asks. I work the Steps with my sponsor. I call my sponsor almost daily to commit my food to him. I have a food plan. I know what abstinence means for me: … Read More