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Course to Consensus

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We may be a group of abstinent and recovering compulsive overeaters, but our individual defects seem to be quick to surface when important decisions need to be made, especially decisions that affect our group and meeting format.

Thank goodness we have the Traditions to guide us. “Our common welfare should come first,” but Tradition One is hard to follow sometimes when I know what is best for my group, when I want something to change or stay a certain way, or when I come back from an intergroup meeting inspired by a great new idea and want to implement it immediately.

Thank goodness, too, that our group secretary has enough abstinence and recovery through working the Steps. She can chair our group meetings with calm, reason, and a confident hand. Sometimes the secretary or another sane member will suggest we take a straw vote—not to make a final decision, but to see where we stand on an issue. If we are polarized, we’ll not make a decision at that meeting, but each member will hold the concern in prayer (and probably write about it a lot) until our next meeting. If only one or two people continue to protest, we’ll ask them to support the group conscience, even though they oppose the decision. We strive for consensus, if not agreement.

Sometimes, when we are nearing a decision, one quiet person speaks up and turns everything on its head. If we realize that person is right, we might decide to do something completely different. Maybe we don’t all like the new idea if it wasn’t part of our grand plan, but when we take active Steps Ten and Eleven in that moment, we often realize our defects could be driving us—pride and control urging us forward—and then we become able to alter our course with humility.

It’s difficult to make decisions when people who are in the food and insane are taking active part in the decision-making process, but I believe there is a Higher Power that can restore meetings to sanity and guide us when we want to make the best decisions for our common welfare.

—A.G., London, United Kingdom

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