Tradition Three: The only requirement for OA membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively.


When I first came into OA, almost thirty years and 200 pounds (91 kg) ago, I heard Tradition Three and had mixed feelings. First of all, I felt so low I wasn’t sure I wanted to be part of a club that would have me as a member. Yet, at the same time, I was thrilled. I did belong somewhere, and no matter what, I couldn’t be kicked out! At that time, I was like a newborn, and it was all about me.

Then I began to see how this Tradition impacted my relationships with other people in the rooms. “Hey,” I said to myself, “if I belong, no matter what, maybe everyone else does too.” Truth be told, I used to do a very good job of taking other people’s inventories—much better than my own. I found it easier to look at what was wrong with you rather than what was wrong with me. There were many days when I really didn’t want to stop eating compulsively—I just wanted to be free of the consequences of eating compulsively. But I kept coming back, because I was welcome to. Eventually, I realized that if I felt this way, maybe other people did too; I realized it wasn’t all about me.

Really this Tradition is all about unity, isn’t it? I know the spiritual Principle associated with Tradition Three is “identity,” which makes sense too. I can still find my individual identity while being true to the common goal: to stop eating compulsively. It doesn’t matter how we achieve this goal, as long as we reach out and help others along the way. I really love that about OA: there is no one right way—we all have the dignity of choosing. We choose our Higher Power, how we will work the Steps, our favorite OA-approved literature, our plan of eating. No one has the right to tell me I’m doing it “wrong.”

Tradition Three teaches me to look at what we have in common. In OA, it is our desire to stop eating compulsively. Simple. But what about out in the real world? How do I carry Tradition Three out there? As a member of the human race, I often wonder what makes us all the same, and I think I’ve figured it out. We all make mistakes! That’s our common goal: the only requirement for being human is to learn from our mistakes. If we could all embrace this, just think how much more we would accept ourselves and others.

— Lyn C., Massachusetts USA

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