Connection Matters My first day of abstinence was December 28, 1979. I’d been in OA a year and a half. Even though my bingeing and purging had ended, I still stole food from supermarkets and insisted on creating my own food plan. That day in December, on vacation, I stole a binge food. Then I called my food sponsor (who, for some … Read More
Key Specifics In all my seventeen years in OA, I’ve regarded “abstinence” as an ambiguous term—and I’ve blamed that ambiguity for my relapses. Focusing on ambiguity made it easy for me to erode my abstinence. My epiphany occurred when my sponsor, who has forty-two years of abstinence, said, “Abstinence doesn’t have to be ambiguous.” That gave me pause for thought. The pause … Read More
Threefold Abstinence Keeping things simple is helpful. Using OA’s definition of abstinence, I had to decide what I could refrain from, one day at a time, no matter where I was or what was happening. Two ingredients that repeated in my food inventory were sugar and white flour. So my definition of physical abstinence was simple: no sugar and no white flour. (My food plan … Read More
The Beginning “Abstinence is the beginning.” This sentence, one I have seen and heard many times since entering the rooms, popped out at me like never before as I read page 272 in Voices of Recovery this morning. Abstinence is the beginning: of connecting with Higher Power, with self, with others who have this disease of connecting with others who don’t have … Read More
Understand, Appreciate, Implement, Reflect I came to understand abstinence initially by doing what I saw other recovering OA members doing. This included: weighing and measuring food; following a food plan created by a registered dietician who tailored it for my body’s needs; avoiding sugar and wheat products; doing OA outreach phone calls; attending meetings; doing service; reading OA and AA literature; journaling daily; studying … Read More
Abstinence is Possible I am new to OA. I’ve been with the program for 101 days. I first went to a meeting to support my daughter, but I was nervous and unsure about going. I’d heard about OA through a client who lost 100 pounds (45 kg) three years ago and kept it off. I asked how she did it and she said, … Read More
Bumper Bowl I am a coordinated, intelligent, healthy individual, so my lack of skill in bowling would come as a surprise to friends and teammates. At first, I’d knock down a pin or two, but soon the gutter balls would begin. It defied logic. I experimented with different positions, ball weights, finger-hole sizes, and speeds, but in the end, I’d get so … Read More
Day In and Day Out I was “struck abstinent” on April 20, 2016. I used to think being struck abstinent meant it was permanent, but it isn’t. I work very hard to maintain my abstinence. Abstinence for me means eating three meals plus two snacks daily, with no sugar, fast food, or anything from my “red light” list. This is my action plan: On Sundays, … Read More
Outside and In I have found differences between “trying to be abstinent” versus “being willing to be abstinent.” If I am trying to be abstinent, I am in a state of great confusion. If I am willing to be abstinent, I am in a state of great humility. Trying to be abstinent implies I should be able to do it, but I am … Read More
Suggestions for Abstinence Abstinence Actions These actions helped us become abstinent and stay abstinent. Maybe they will work for you too. • Accept your humanness, and let go of striving for perfection. • Ask another member to sponsor you, and call your sponsor every day. • Ask your HP for help whenever you need it. • At meetings, express your gratitude to your … Read More