Four years ago, I returned to OA after a three-year relapse. At 47, I weighed more than ever, but that wasn’t why I returned. I came back because I had finally accepted that my way was never going to give me the life I desperately wanted. I am a compulsive overeater and a restricter and bulimic. I’ve been all different …

I’ve always been an introvert; God made me that way. I can still relate to others and can even be seen to enjoy folk’s company; however, this is only a mask I wear to protect my real self from intrusion into my preferred solitude. I know when this mask is in place, and it feels false and contrived to me, …

In times of fear and doubt, I can remember to ground myself in the fact of my abstinence. It’s simple: Before OA and the aid of a Power greater than myself, I could not live without compulsive overeating, exercise bulimia, and body image obsession. Now, one day at a time, I can. Starting in eighth grade, my eating disorder took …

I’m an addicted people pleaser. I don’t want to make anyone upset, inconvenience them, start a conflict, or rock the boat. My drive to get along has caused me to lose my voice. I’ve made some headway, but I have a ways to go. Recently, I realized how it has hurt my recovery. A few weeks ago, I went through …

I’d never understood how someone who is anorexic could have the same problem as someone who is obese. This morning, though, I woke up with the realization that my friend and I do have the same problem: a broken “thermostat.” On her thermostat, the trigger that tells her it’s time to fuel her body is broken. It never clicks on, …

I am grateful to have been accepted in OA as a person who is not overweight and is a lesbian. My eating disorder began at age 14, when I became aware of my sexual orientation. The thought of being gay was so reprehensible to me that I began hiding myself from myself; I created a distraction by obsessing about food …

My first OA meeting was in 1980. I was a college student, sick from bouts of anorexia and bulimia, and afraid I would not be “as sick” as others in the rooms. Sure enough, my first impressions were that I was different; I was the thinnest and youngest in the room; and maybe I didn’t belong there. During the meeting …

When I joined OA twenty years ago, I wasn’t interested in physical recovery. I needed help with my out-of-control emotions and relationships, but I was too scared to start from scratch in any Twelve Step fellowship for emotions and relationships. I was anorexic, so I could go every week to OA meetings (instead of once a month to “open” meetings of …

Look for the similarities, not the differences.” How grateful I am to have gotten that message straightaway when I walked in the doors of OA. It was out of desperation that I had to do this, because the only alternative was going to be death. I came to OA looking different than most, weighing in at 42–47 kilograms (93–99 lbs), …

I grew up as an only child with alcoholic overeaters for parents. For the first seventeen years of my life, I dealt with two drunken “rageaholics” acting crazy. I never knew what would happen. I walked around in sheer panic and terror, afraid my parents would divorce, afraid Mom would drink herself to death, afraid Dad would kill someone on …