Relapse Relapse & Recovery Back from Relapse I am a grateful, recovering anorexic, exercise bulimic, and food addict. I have four wonderful years of abstinence. I came to OA in 1996, and by 2002 I thought I had graduated. I stopped going to meetings, making my calls, and writing down my food. I suffered through two years of relapse—starving my body, mind, and spirit—and came back in 2004. … Read More
Higher Power Spirituality Space for God I had never led a retreat by myself and worried I’d come off as unprepared and not able to give anything to the group. I worried that I’d get lost, miss the ferry, get carjacked, or hit a moose. I was crossing into Canada—aren’t moose everywhere? I was at a retreat two years before where a woman in the audience … Read More
Recovery Relationships From Mother to Child For many years I blamed my mother for conditions in our family that fostered my addictive nature and compulsive relationship with food. Because ours was such a confusing mixture of love and resentment, and because I never received the support and guidance I needed, I never thought I would want to bring a child into this world. Thank goodness for … Read More
Tools & Concepts Baby Steps Up the Mountain Recently I learned I needed to change my plan of eating for my health. Okay, how do I do that? Power through, right?! If I could control my eating I would never have come into Overeaters Anonymous almost thirty years ago. Before that, I tried: I tried every diet in every magazine. Every night, I planned to start this or … Read More
Gratitude Recovery Tools for Sanity I came to understand my abstinence through working with my first OA sponsor in Step One, looking at what foods and food behaviors I was powerless over and when my life was unmanageable as it related to food. The most obvious problem was my nighttime bingeing, and at first my bottom-line abstinence was not bingeing at night, using the 3-0-1 … Read More
Share It Still Learning Just wanted to send a belated “thank-you” for the July 2017 stories. I especially felt blessed by the Step Study story “How I Ask”. The author identified one of my most troublesome defects, obsession with control, and then offered a helpful clarification: “or illusions of control.” What I have to keep learning is that I actually have control over very … Read More
Higher Power Spirituality A Change of Plan I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of working the Steps while being abstinent one day at a time. I know this because I am much different today than when I was either trying to control the food or else stuffing my face. The Big Book refers often to a spiritual experience or spiritual awakening; for me, that … Read More
Recovery Working the Program Recovery Routine I work my program every day by doing a morning routine. First, I say the first three Steps. Then I say program prayers: the Serenity Prayer, the Third Step prayer, the Seventh Step prayer, and a shortened version of the Eleventh Step prayer. Then I say a prayer from my religious tradition for me and everyone I’m having trouble with, … Read More
Keep Coming Back Out of Compliance I’m not happy to say I’m working on surrender. The way I grew up, it was about doing better every time. Quitting was never an option. Then I came to OA and heard about this surrender thing. But I’m hardwired to do my best, so I followed program suggestions like a to-do list. I went to meetings, made a few … Read More
Relationships A Lead Counsel’s Deposition Surrender . . . surrender to the program, surrender to a Higher Power—for some reason, I have found it very difficult to surrender. I am a man. I am an attorney. No one becomes an attorney by accident. It takes years of hard work and dedication. My profession is filled with strong-willed people who want to be in control. I … Read More
