After almost ten years in OA and a physical abstinence of my own definition, I struggled with the fact that I was still stuck in obsession and compulsion around food. I had a way of eating that was more or less nutritionally balanced, but I still obsessed about knowing exactly what I was going to eat. I was alternating between …

Food was my best friend for a long time. I had a troubled childhood, and excess food numbed the difficult emotions and gave me comfort. I managed to comfort myself up to 292 pounds (133 kg) by the time I was 26 years old, and I stayed close to that weight for five years. I tried every diet out there, …

I was interested in the Lifeline article concerning kneeling while praying (“Prayer Positions,” October 2018). There is no way my knees will allow me to kneel for any reason. I start my day reading my OA literature, writing a thank-you letter to God, and praying while sitting at a table. In my younger days, I often sent my most fervent …

This is a story of my relationship with HP, whom I choose to call God. I did all of my Steps up to Step Eleven. The Eleventh Step said for me to pray and meditate. I was good at praying and asking for what I wanted, but staying quiet and listening? That was all new to me. All I knew …

I am a returning member, back in OA after many relapses over the past fourteen years. Earlier this year, after almost a year of abstinent recovery and losing two thirds of the weight I need to lose for my health, I began experiencing painful and disturbing digestive symptoms. It took months for doctors to diagnose the trouble, and in the …

First, I can go into a supermarket and not have to buy the sugars and carbs I’m addicted to. What a freedom and relief that is! “Not today!” I think to myself with gratitude. Also, I have the freedom to be happy in life and enjoy its pleasures. No longer is that dark shadow, the curse of addiction, crossing my …

I have had two knee replacements in two years. The first time I wasn’t abstinent, but this most recent time I was. I want to share the difference. The first time I was in rehab, I was physically, spiritually, and mentally bankrupt. I paid an acquaintance, my eating buddy, to bring me non abstinent food. I ate sugar and white flour …

My twenty-ninth birthday in OA is approaching, and it is cause for renewed reflection about my program. I spoke to my sponsor a week ago and mentioned to her that I was thinking of not taking a candle this year. Other OA members on their birthdays pitch about life changes: weddings, kids, jobs, financial gain, or acquisition of cars. I …

I work my program every day by doing a morning routine. First, I say the first three Steps. Then I say program prayers: the Serenity Prayer, the Third Step prayer, the Seventh Step prayer, and a shortened version of the Eleventh Step prayer. Then I say a prayer from my religious tradition for me and everyone I’m having trouble with, …

Lately, I have been comparing my OA journey to someone else who has decades of abstinence. I know through working the Steps that comparing myself to others is one of my shortcomings. I did not get abstinent at my first meeting, nor can I say, “I have not relapsed.” I want my story to be different, but I can’t change …