Trust the Process Never give up. Just trust the process. Hang in there. After all the denial, eating, surrendering, praying, not praying, abstaining, not abstaining, walking, not walking, reading, and meetings . . . then, finally, the miracle was given to me: food is no longer a problem. Wow! What serenity. What a blessing. How did I deserve this peace of mind? I trusted the process and used the Tools and … Read More
Weekend Footwork Of all the OA slogans, “It works when you work it” is the one I find myself falling back on the most. I have been abstinent for two years and am maintaining a 65-pound (29-kg) weight loss, but it still amazes me how my life goes much more smoothly when I am being diligent about my program. To me, being diligent means using the Tools and working the … Read More
Opening the Door My first bout with anorexia, when I was 30, came when I had a flashback of a childhood sexual assault that I had forgotten about. I was broken. I remember referring to myself as a rag doll, tossed to the side when I no longer served a purpose. The memory made me feel vulnerable again, and I stopped eating in hopes that I would become so physically small that I would be invisible. Treatment meant I had to dig … Read More
When Program Works I once heard someone complain, “The program isn’t working.” She said this despite having been in the program for a long time. It hadn’t produced the weight loss she had hoped for, and she was thinking of quitting. The fact is, the program doesn’t do anything. The program is a guide, a set of tools, and support, but the work is done by those who use the tools. … Read More
Personalizing My Footwork I’ve been in OA for forty-two years and have worked my program in all sorts of ways. For a time, footwork meant attending lots of meetings (both registered and not registered), workshops, and conventions. I used the AA Big Book for most of my Step work and had a sponsor in another Twelve Step program. Over the years, I went … Read More
Applied Lessons I came to my first Twelve Step fellowship and got sober in 1983. G-d put a lovely woman in my life in my second year of recovery, and she entered both “the beverage program” and OA six months after we met. We’ve been married since 1986. I joined OA in 1990 and have been here ever since. The topic of … Read More
Surrender and Accountability When I finally realized that my behaviors with food (overindulging, hiding, sneaking, and lying) were the same as my past behaviors with alcohol, I knew I had a problem. (Thirty-nine years of sobriety assured me that I knew a lot about Twelve Step recovery.) While my AA fellows were tolerant of my obsessive food talk, my fear and sense of … Read More
Recognition and Acceptance Do I have other addictions? It was enough for me to accept that I had one addiction: compulsive eating. Once I began working the Steps, especially Step Four, it occurred to me that I had other addictions as well. Was I surprised! As I began the “peeling” process that takes place in Step Four and Step Ten, I became aware … Read More
Actions to Keep Abstinence I was struck abstinent on April 20, 2016. I used to think abstinence was a permanent condition, but it’s not, so I work very hard to maintain mine, which is no sugar, no fast food, and no red-light foods. I eat three meals and two snacks daily. On Sundays, I select recipes, make a shopping list, go shopping, and do … Read More
Root Wound From a very early age, food was my primary source of comfort, for bonding and coping with feelings. When I moved on to college, I discovered how euphoric it could be to shop and spend with a credit card. At a time when I was restricting and controlling my food, I was shopping and spending money more freely. Once I began … Read More