Coming back from work one late winter afternoon, I caught myself thinking that since the weather was cold, I’d better get home, take a hot shower, put on those nice pajamas, have a soup, and finally snuggle into a soft warm blanket to watch a movie or read a novel or newspaper. However, it was Wednesday, the day of my …

When I became an adult, I realized my father had suffered from a disease similar to my disease of compulsive overeating. His was “compulsive hoarding disorder.” Over the years, I’ve developed a much more compassionate view of his bizarre behavior, and I credit my participation in OA for this realization . . . and for my ability to forgive him. My …

“Chronic complaining is a useless practice that destroys self-acceptance and self-reliance . . . Instead . . . I can ask myself, “Is there anything I can do to help myself with this?” (For Today, p. 239). Chronic complaining sounds like self-abuse: if I continue to stay in the problem, then I am living in the problem—and living in the …

I am just coming back from a bingeing relapse that started with me eating two pints of ice cream as an appetizer. I went out searching for a 24-hour grocery store at 4 o’clock in the morning on Christmas Eve to buy ice cream. I ended up at a gas station in an area so crime-ridden that there was an …

As a child, I loved this fairy tale: A girl is born, and a fairy gives her the “gift” of obedience. At first, she tries to protect herself by keeping her gift/curse a secret, but when her father remarries, her bossy, jealous stepmother and stepsisters quickly discover she has no choice but to obey. Her life becomes unmanageable. Stripped of …

Over the years, I’ve heard people in our Fellowship speak about having “choices” when it comes to food and eating: “the choice to eat healthy or not” or “the choice of bingeing or not.” While this might be true for some, I feel compelled to speak to those for whom the notion of having choices does not apply. I know …

I’ve long felt that, for compulsive eaters, one of our worst fears is simply being hungry and having to sit still and do nothing about it. The association between physical hunger and existential void triggers the sense of hopelessness that preceded so many of my forays into the deadly rituals from which I now abstain. Its black-sheep brother, the craving, …

First, I can go into a supermarket and not have to buy the sugars and carbs I’m addicted to. What a freedom and relief that is! “Not today!” I think to myself with gratitude. Also, I have the freedom to be happy in life and enjoy its pleasures. No longer is that dark shadow, the curse of addiction, crossing my …

I spent the first part of my adult life wearing sizes 7 and 9 in clothes, until the event, the incestuous encounter. What made my incestuous situation unusual? My perpetrator was my father, and I was an adult when it happened. I was in such shock after the event that for the next few days my brain (to help me …

I have been maintaining an abstinent weight of 125 pounds (57 kg) since September 2015. My early life was what I’d call a perfect breeding ground for addiction: I grew up in an alcoholic home full of insanity, loud arguments that got my heart pounding, shame, abandonment, and no talk of a Higher Power at all. I remained hyper vigilant, turning …