Atheists & Agnostics Higher Power Knock, Knock I went to my first OA meeting many years ago. I already knew someone, so it wasn’t too scary. I liked the meeting, having long ago figured out that food, for me, was an addiction just like alcohol or drugs. (That’s pretty common knowledge now but wasn’t in the 1980s.) How many times had I tried dieting in various forms—paid … Read More
Diversity Newcomers Working Out the Feelings I am so grateful for OA. It’s September 12, 2017, and I have thirty-nine days of abstinence after being in program since January 21, which is a date I will never forget because it is eight days after my mom passed away due to her drug addiction. Her death marked a turning point in my compulsive overeating. What was once … Read More
Meetings Tools & Concepts Leaving My Comfort Zone Coming back from work one late winter afternoon, I caught myself thinking that since the weather was cold, I’d better get home, take a hot shower, put on those nice pajamas, have a soup, and finally snuggle into a soft warm blanket to watch a movie or read a novel or newspaper. However, it was Wednesday, the day of my … Read More
Higher Power Spirituality Sacred Store When I became an adult, I realized my father had suffered from a disease similar to my disease of compulsive overeating. His was “compulsive hoarding disorder.” Over the years, I’ve developed a much more compassionate view of his bizarre behavior, and I credit my participation in OA for this realization . . . and for my ability to forgive him. My … Read More
Literature Tools & Concepts Complaint Stoplight “Chronic complaining is a useless practice that destroys self-acceptance and self-reliance . . . Instead . . . I can ask myself, “Is there anything I can do to help myself with this?” (For Today, p. 239). Chronic complaining sounds like self-abuse: if I continue to stay in the problem, then I am living in the problem—and living in the … Read More
Relapse Relapse & Recovery Callback I am just coming back from a bingeing relapse that started with me eating two pints of ice cream as an appetizer. I went out searching for a 24-hour grocery store at 4 o’clock in the morning on Christmas Eve to buy ice cream. I ended up at a gas station in an area so crime-ridden that there was an … Read More
Gratitude Recovery A Curse and a Blessing As a child, I loved this fairy tale: A girl is born, and a fairy gives her the “gift” of obedience. At first, she tries to protect herself by keeping her gift/curse a secret, but when her father remarries, her bossy, jealous stepmother and stepsisters quickly discover she has no choice but to obey. Her life becomes unmanageable. Stripped of … Read More
Relapse Relapse & Recovery When Choice is Not an Option Over the years, I’ve heard people in our Fellowship speak about having “choices” when it comes to food and eating: “the choice to eat healthy or not” or “the choice of bingeing or not.” While this might be true for some, I feel compelled to speak to those for whom the notion of having choices does not apply. I know … Read More
Higher Power Spirituality Craving vs. Conscious Contact I’ve long felt that, for compulsive eaters, one of our worst fears is simply being hungry and having to sit still and do nothing about it. The association between physical hunger and existential void triggers the sense of hopelessness that preceded so many of my forays into the deadly rituals from which I now abstain. Its black-sheep brother, the craving, … Read More
Recovery Relationships Freedoms Gained in OA First, I can go into a supermarket and not have to buy the sugars and carbs I’m addicted to. What a freedom and relief that is! “Not today!” I think to myself with gratitude. Also, I have the freedom to be happy in life and enjoy its pleasures. No longer is that dark shadow, the curse of addiction, crossing my … Read More