Recovery Relationships Simple and Wonderful For me, some of the hardest people to be comfortable with are members of my family of origin. I’m the only one who’s in a Twelve Step program, and sometimes when I’m with them, I feel like I’m in another world—yes, the world I had lived in too, until six years ago when I found my way back to the … Read More
Sponsoring Tools & Concepts Abstinent, Loving Witness Active addiction leads to denial, and asking more of a sponsee than I do myself is a red flag. Stinking thinking says my extra weight doesn’t count because I carry it so well. Without abstinence, serenity eludes me, and I’m in bondage to self, reactive and thin skinned about feedback or comments. Boundaries get lost in a food fog, and … Read More
Sponsoring Tools & Concepts Two-Way Trust I have been abstinent fifty-seven days and am currently working on Step Three. Having a sponsor has been a vital part of working my program. For me, being sponsored was the critical element in my starting the Steps. I would not be able to work the Steps without my sponsor giving me questions to work on and apply to me … Read More
Gratitude Recovery My True Value Freedom from compulsion and excess weight is the treasure that those of us plagued by food addiction covet most! What does this freedom look like? A wise man said, “It’s a sparkle in the eye that exemplifies it.” Another source says it’s the genuine, natural smile on one’s face that whispers acceptance of others—after all, a smile is the universal … Read More
Meetings Tools & Concepts Scripting Strength About ten years ago, my home meeting was dealing with talkative, unruly, and sensitive newcomers. The meeting was beginning to feel unsafe. We regulars, being the people pleasers we are, considered just letting them talk without a time limit. Luckily, sanity ruled that out. We considered removing them from the meeting by having a special “newcomer time” in another space. … Read More
Abstinence Other People’s Programs I entered OA in the fall of 2008, miserable, steeped in my addiction, and knowing there was nothing I could do about it. At my first meeting, I was convinced OA was not going to work, but I was wrong about that. It did work, and I have been abstinent since 2010. As a consequence of my abstinence, my body … Read More
Service The Difference That Satisfies Sometimes it’s quite hard to see the difference between a plan of eating, which says what I’m going to eat and in what quantity, and a diet, which also says what I’m going to eat and in what quantity. For me, the difference is about purpose and how I feel about it. In the old days, the diets I went … Read More
Service Divine Packing Lack of connection to my OA Fellowship is my biggest challenge while on vacation. My regular meeting isn’t available, and my cell phone doesn’t work for making outreach calls when I travel outside the country. Isolation from other OA members, minus my usual routine, is a dangerous formula for me. My last trip to Germany was quite challenging. I was … Read More
Service Call Out Last year, I made an outreach call during a difficult time. It was my first call to this particular member. Her tone was cold and distant. After a few minutes, I realized I wasn’t getting what I needed from the conversation, so I thanked her for her time and ended the call. I remembered what a wise member once told me: “You can’t … Read More
How OA Changed My Life Oh is One Syllable Driving to my OA meeting this morning, I felt a sense of calm about this past week. An authority figure had made an inappropriate comment, and I spoke my truth without becoming belligerent, without thinking obsessively about the situation afterward, without gossiping, and without stuffing down my anger with food. Someone else asked me for a favor that carried the … Read More