Recovery Working the Program The Essential Me I’m juggling a lot of stressful family and work responsibilities right now. It’s easy to get lost in the potent stew of “must-do’s,” worry, and expectations (both mine and others’) and find myself trying to control events, people, feelings, and outcomes and make everything “right.” (Right, of course, means “my way.”) That’s how I used to live, on the adrenaline … Read More
Literature Tools & Concepts All I’m Asked to Do Recently, for my recovery, I’ve been reading from the Big Book each day, writing about it, and sharing my writing with my sponsor. Today’s reading was just two sentences: “Ask [God] in your morning meditation what can you do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order.” (Alcoholics … Read More
Sponsoring Tools & Concepts Speed Dating for Sponsors At our annual retreat, a miscommunication turned into a fantastic new workshop. When the leader of a session on sponsorship referred to “speed dating,” several members of the organizing committee thought we were going to experience speed dating for sponsors! It seemed a natural progression: we could move from a session on the benefits of sponsorship to a practical activity. The … Read More
Sponsoring Tools & Concepts Perfect Meetings, Perfect Sponsors Our program works without us working it perfectly. I’m celebrating thirty years of abstinence, and I don’t even know how “working it perfectly” looks. Taking awkward baby steps, clumsily using the Tools, and making a haphazard job of the Steps and Traditions is enough for me. Expecting perfection from ourselves and others can cost us our recovery. I’ll be blunt: … Read More
Higher Power Spirituality Space for God I had never led a retreat by myself and worried I’d come off as unprepared and not able to give anything to the group. I worried that I’d get lost, miss the ferry, get carjacked, or hit a moose. I was crossing into Canada—aren’t moose everywhere? I was at a retreat two years before where a woman in the audience … Read More
Tools & Concepts Uncategorized Things I Crave This is the first year that I am not making New Year’s resolutions. My resolutions usually lasted only through New Year’s Day anyway before it all got too hard or my desire waned. The action plan is something that I use every single day, and I only have to use it for today. There is no expectation other than in … Read More
Gratitude Recovery Home Truths Here am I thinking, now that I’m an abstinent member of OA, it automatically means I’m an outstanding citizen within my family. But eavesdropping on a conversation between my wife and son lands a bombshell of a home truth in my lap. My son asks, “Mammy, do you ever wake up grumpy?” My wife replies, “Sometimes!” Then, after a substantial pause, “And sometimes I let him sleep on!” Dumbfounded, … Read More