Recovery Working the Program Able to Identify A simple definition of insanity is “unsound reasoning and judgment.” Where has my reasoning and judgment been unsound around food? I have been continuously abstinent for twenty-four years, maintaining a 100+ pound (45+ kg) weight loss. My food plan is sugar-free, flour-free, and volume-free. I follow a structured approach because it is the foundation of my physical recovery: it is … Read More
Tools & Concepts Ten Thousand Miracles I had prepared a salad and was fully enjoying the two sources of protein in it when it occurred to me that I don’t usually put more than one source of protein in my salads. With a start, I realized I had made a mistake: I double measured. It’s not like someone had died, but I realized that, if such … Read More
Tools & Concepts Myths vs. Truths During my first eight years in OA, I had unconsciously created some odd expectations around my plan of eating! Thanks to the intense writing of my Fourth Step, I have identified several of my plan of eating myths and truths: Myth: I will not want to eat anything but my plan of eating meals. Truth: Physical cravings have ended. Myth: … Read More
Abstinence Choice and Freedom To me abstinence means freedom: freedom from the obsession with food and having to act on it when I get cravings. I still think about food a lot (I’m quite newly abstinent), but I have the choice not to pick-up because of certain daily actions that give me protection. Abstinence means sanity. It keeps food in its right place. I … Read More
Steps Traditions Accessible to All When I showed up at my first OA meeting, I did not have the desire to stop eating compulsively. I was morbidly obese and had lost and gained large amounts of weight throughout my life. My desires back then were different. I wanted to be thin. I wanted the emotional pain to stop. I wanted a reason to continue living. … Read More
Steps Traditions Stepping Up to Recovery I cannot believe I have been abstinent long enough to have made it to Step Twelve. When I first came to this program, I would not have thought my life would be as it is now. It is very different. I am more open to life and active in it. The spiritual awakening I have experienced involves knowing I am … Read More
Sponsoring Tools & Concepts Abstinent, Loving Witness Active addiction leads to denial, and asking more of a sponsee than I do myself is a red flag. Stinking thinking says my extra weight doesn’t count because I carry it so well. Without abstinence, serenity eludes me, and I’m in bondage to self, reactive and thin skinned about feedback or comments. Boundaries get lost in a food fog, and … Read More
Service Tools & Concepts Making Connections It’s as simple as this: I settled for food. To block the pain of my love starved existence, I used food and sugar until my carefully constructed façade of beautiful well-being began to bloat from the excesses I needed to eat to feel safe. But I had to do something to keep from losing my looks, the one thing that … Read More
Higher Power Adopting a Loving Attitude Mid-afternoon triggers one of my compulsive food behaviors—munching. Every day, hungry or not, food thoughts start to pester me. One day, I asked my Higher Power, whom I call Loving Mother, to handle the urges for me. “I’ll do what you tell me to,” I assured her. “Well, it’s not really about doing; it’s just about loving.” Her reply surprised … Read More
Fellowship Make My Needs My Wants I’ve been in OA since September 1983. I helped start a local retreat in the 1990s, which I’ve attended now for many years. In 1998, I heard someone at the retreat say that they could be abstinent 100 percent of the time, and somehow that really hit home. That same year, the retreat leader emphasized looking at my part in … Read More