Relationships Loner No Longer “I never have to be alone again . . .” It was June 1989: I was powerless over food and my life was unmanageable. I had just lost forty pounds (18 kg) again and quickly gained ten pounds (5 kg) back. I was on my way up the scale and full of anger and rage. I felt totally helpless, hopeless, … Read More
Relapse Big Truth When I first came to OA, I had no hope. I thought I would never look normal or be able to eat regular food. I was obese and profoundly depressed. In OA, I found much more than just weight loss and “control”; I found a Higher Power, a Fellowship of people who understood me for the first time in my … Read More
Working the Program New Moves In my recovery, I had problems trying to understand the OA program. It was simple, and that was the problem. I was baffled by its simplicity. I also practice tai chi and enjoy the challenge of learning new moves, but what I find is this: The easy moves are hard and the hard moves are easy. Standing at my front … Read More
Working the Program Keep Pedaling When I was young, learning to ride a bicycle seemed like a monumental task—exciting, but difficult to learn. I wanted to do what the other children could. Riding a bicycle looked like fun, and I wanted to have fun. My mom held my seat and ran behind me while I pedaled. When I wasn’t looking, she let go. The scariest … Read More
Higher Power New Resonance When I first came to OA, I was aware the Twelve Steps required belief in a Higher Power, but I felt spiritually broken after a traumatizing event with my church. I wanted nothing to do with religion or God. Still, I was desperate for hope and help with my compulsive overeating, so I went to meetings and tried to keep … Read More
Steps A Spiritual Gauge The June 1 readings in For Today and Voices of Recovery are both about Step Six. The way I practice and understand this Step today involves my perspective. As I grow in relationship with my loving Higher Power through the process of surrender and trust, I see myself differently. Instead of seeing myself as flawed or defective, I see myself … Read More
Newcomers First Glimpse As a newcomer to OA, I was helped most by seeing how genuinely happy and pleased the other group members were to have me join them that first morning— even though I came with anxiety, shame, silence, and a travel mug of coffee (which violated their rules). The greeter asked me to stay after that first meeting and gave me … Read More
Fellowship Term Lesson I went to World Service Business Conference as a new delegate, with excitement and some fear. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew I was there to give service, but I was afraid I wouldn’t get enough downtime. (I have to balance my need for downtime against a tendency to isolate.) Balance was my motto for the week, but … Read More
Recovery Trust Fund Before OA, my life was a constant struggle. It was me against the world, and I couldn’t lower my defenses, or I’d be eaten alive. It was very stressful and tiring. Lack of trust was one of my biggest problems. I grew up in a family in which anything you said could be used against you. I craved trust and … Read More
Higher Power Spirituality A Big-Enough God When I was new to recovery, I would call my sponsor and complain about circumstances and how hard it was to stay abstinent. My sponsor would suggest that I get a bigger God. It took me a while to really understand what she meant; I believed in God, but realized I wasn’t able to trust him. Through working the Steps, … Read More