Meltdown Medicine: Use the Tools I’m a recovering anorexic and bulimic. I have over seven years of not purging, over six years of not weighing myself, and over five years of not restricting. I’m a firm believer that, with time, abstaining gets easier. What I learned this week, however, is there will be days when that doesn’t feel true. Three weeks ago, I had a … Read More
The Only Day Being abstinent all of three whole days, I looked in my mirror to see if my body looked smaller. It didn’t. I was mad. “This doesn’t work.” “What a bunch of B.S.” “I’ll never get thin.” “I can’t do this.” “It’s taking too long.” “I’m doomed to be fat.” ‘I’m doomed to live like an accordion, in and out, up … Read More
Recovery in the Middle I was so new to program I didn’t really know what this was supposed to mean: “It works if you work it.” I thought it was corny and wondered why every meeting ended with everyone holding hands and saying it. After several weeks, my HP spoke to me, when I heard a spiritual advisor offer this analogy about faith: One … Read More
From Loathing to Liking What is healthy self-esteem? It is self-confidence and self-respect; serenity; speaking up for myself; treating myself as well as I treat others; having faith; being present for life; taking risks; trusting myself and others; being honest; pursuing dreams; being my own best friend; making decisions that are love based, not fear-based; liking my body and treating it with love. Have … Read More
The Doctors on the Road to Recovery Two doctors gave me tough love at crucial times in my recovery, for which I am now grateful, though I wasn’t at the time. Shortly after I joined OA in 1990, my new friends suggested I see my general practitioner about my recurring stomach upsets. This doctor told me bluntly that the upsets were due to my anorexia, specifically from … Read More
Looking Forward I spent the past three years mostly unhappy. I lost both my parents, my second marriage failed, and my children had issues with the separation. I avoided any intimate relationships and, in spite of three years of therapy, still didn’t have a firm idea about why. I also hit my all-time-high weight of 285 pounds (129 kg). I was bingeing … Read More
The Path of Totality In August last year, parts of the United States witnessed a full solar eclipse. There was roughly a 70-mile-wide (113 km) “path of totality,” and the lucky individuals along this path got to experience an awesome phenomenon. At first, I didn’t understand the hype, but my daughter lives near Nashville, which was in the path of totality, so she invited … Read More
What OA Is Not I realize after six months in OA that when I ate in the past, I was searching for the good feelings I had as a child. I remember happy family gatherings centered on food: family reunion picnics, camping trip cookouts, holidays, and celebrations. The fun and happiness had disappeared from my life. Why? I ate the same foods as I had … Read More
Love and Light When I was 60 years old and abstinent for six months, I had overwhelming feelings. I felt as if I were going crazy. How did people do this without medication? As time went on, I became more desperate, going to two or three meetings a day, meditating, doing Step work, and making outreach calls. Nothing gave me the peace I … Read More
A (Virtual) Place to Serve I love service! I do! One of the things I love most is helping people make new connections. In 2016, the World Service Business Conference made changes to OA’s Statement on Public Media, allowing us to carry the message in new places and spaces around the world, and I jumped in with both feet by creating not one, but two … Read More
