Today Before OA I said, “Tomorrow I will finally get this right.” Today I say, “Help me make this the best day possible.” Before OA I reacted to life and let circumstances create outcomes. Today I can see options in the middle of any situation. Before OA I mindlessly filled my mouth. Today I mindfully fill my heart. Before OA I … Read More
Eating to Be Undesirable I spent the first part of my adult life wearing sizes 7 and 9 in clothes, until the event, the incestuous encounter. What made my incestuous situation unusual? My perpetrator was my father, and I was an adult when it happened. I was in such shock after the event that for the next few days my brain (to help me … Read More
Mysteries Solved After two years of denying I needed OA, I surrendered. Attending my first meeting was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I was desperate and out of ideas. I had reached my goal weight with a commercial weight-loss program a year prior; at first, I thought I’d solved all my problems. But the struggle to keep the … Read More
Profound Change Change is good, they say, and like medicine, it’s often prescribed to solve problems. I cannot tell how many times I tried this remedy. I tried fewer carbs, more lean protein, a new fitness regime, a fresh hairstyle, new clothes—just to give myself a much-needed boost and create the impression of doing something worthwhile so that everything would change and … Read More
Clean Clothes, Balanced Life OA has improved how I look, and not just with weight loss. I look better in my clothes now that they’re not covered in food and drink stains. When I was eating compulsively, I was reckless. I ate as much as I could as often as I could. I wasn’t careful or dainty, so I sure didn’t eat like a … Read More
Time: Now; Place: Present When I started in OA, I worked a “diet” program and attended meetings. I did some service. We did not have much OA literature in 1977, so I dove into the AA Big Book with passion. I had heard of, and found, hope. I was very damaged—emotional and spiritual recovery took many years. As time passed, my program of recovery … Read More
Reel Comedy “Come on in! We’ve been waiting for you!” That’s what I heard as I walked through the doors of an OA meeting in 2015. Two ladies were sitting in the meeting room, both long timers. One of them had moved to our small coastal town a year ago, found no OA meetings, and decided to start one. I struggled to … Read More
Recovery Dance In my dance class tonight, I raised my hand and asked for help with a troublesome step sequence. The teacher spent a good three or four minutes going over it with me until I understood, and she had to explain it a few different ways before I figured it out. All my classmates were standing around watching and waiting. The teacher looked around … Read More
Trash Talk In the years following high school, I couldn’t hold down a job for more than eight consecutive months, and my residence changed just as frequently. Between each new address, I would return to my childhood home, where my mother now lives alone. I’d pass through town just long enough to discard another mountainous load of boxes into her basement— always … Read More
Scale Sanity I sometimes hear about innovations in artificial intelligence. Discussions inevitably follow about how machines will take over and mankind will become their slaves. But this doesn’t scare me; I have already been a slave to a machine. I call it The Scale. In my pre-OA life, I was either dieting or acting out in my disease and bingeing. The scale … Read More