Ideals in Action I’ve been working on my food ideals (how I want to behave around food) and asking God to help me. Since I forget sometimes how good it feels to take actions that deny my disease’s power, I want to write them down on a night when God gave me the willingness to act according to the ideals I’ve been thinking … Read More
Continuing to Grow I recently attended our local OA Unity Day celebration about an hour away from my home. On the drive to get there, I had time to contemplate my life now and compare it to the year before when I also attended this event. At first, my mind was prone to go to the negative side—I’m a year older, tired, and … Read More
Sunshine Ahead I began praying daily for addicts all over the world—my latest mission of the heart, but I didn’t know the compassion I was feeling for them was direct prayer for me. In the faith I practice, it was time to contemplate what I could give up. Having admitted in the past that I was a compulsive overeater, I thought I could possibly … Read More
Pot of Gold If it weren’t for OA, I wouldn’t be able to see. I’m not blind, but the fog of compulsive overeating blinded me. By maintaining abstinence and working the Steps, the fog was lifted, and I began to see the world as it is. I began to see color. Recovery gave me the ability to pursue my childhood dream of learning … Read More
Glimmer of Hope It was December, and I had hit my bottom. My despair and anguish were monumental and unrelenting. I had tried every conceivable diet, weight-loss scheme, pill, and quick fix, and nothing had worked. I know now that I had not addressed the real, underlying issue: I was a compulsive eater. I felt there was no hope left. At that moment, … Read More
Paying It Forward My first day in OA, I was desperate and hopeless. I had reached bottom and thought I could not recover. After that first meeting, a kind man gave me a Big Book and Lifeline to take home and read. He told me there was hope and to keep coming back. With tears in my eyes, I left the meeting believing … Read More
Not What I Was I always suffered from feelings of not belonging and not being good enough, and I was always the biggest one in my class. When I was in sixth grade, we had to be weighed, and the whole class knew I was 250 pounds (113 kg). I wished they had hit me with a baseball bat—it would have hurt less. The … Read More
Program Truths There are lies I tell myself and truth the program teaches me: The “I don’t care how I look” lie—the truth is, I do care, and it affects my moods, my thoughts, and my actions. The “God doesn’t care if I’m fat” lie— the truth is, God cares about everything about me. The “I can’t do this” lie—the truth is, … Read More
I’m Not Doing It At times I suffer fear: Will I be successful at weight loss? Perhaps I have a diet mentality. During these times, I must remember the following: “I” am not losing the weight. Higher Power and Overeaters Anonymous are helping me lose the weight. A healthy way of living is helping me lose the weight. Cleaning up my side of the … Read More
Body Talk After being abstinent for a few years and keeping off 75 pounds (34 kg), I have a special Eighth Step amends to make— an amends to my body. I owe you amends for more than thirty-five years of stuffing and starving you; shaming and scolding you; shutting you up; shutting you down; disregarding your cries; and trying to cut myself … Read More