Abstinence Key Specifics In all my seventeen years in OA, I’ve regarded “abstinence” as an ambiguous term—and I’ve blamed that ambiguity for my relapses. Focusing on ambiguity made it easy for me to erode my abstinence. My epiphany occurred when my sponsor, who has forty-two years of abstinence, said, “Abstinence doesn’t have to be ambiguous.” That gave me pause for thought. The pause … Read More
Recovery Gifts “As Is” Before I fully surrendered, my life was an ever-increasing battle with food, weight, myself, and others. I was a child who didn’t like being given half a cup of juice; I wanted the full cup. After overhearing family conversations about my “puppy fat,” I decided, at age 9, to attend my first commercial weight-loss club. I only had to lose … Read More
How OA Changed My Life Recovery Progressive Focus I was just prescribed progressive lenses for my glasses. If I keep my head straight and look forward, I can see. If I look up, down, or to the sides, everything is a blur. I am reminded that before my Higher Power blessed me with the gift of the Twelve Steps, I spent most of my life in a blur. … Read More
Tools & Concepts Thanks for Sharing I haven’t written for Lifeline in a while, but today life got in my way. At least food didn’t, eh? But it tried to. Yes, even with fifteen years of recovery, the thoughts still sometimes make a plausible case for indulging. The Big Book says, “We are without defense against the first drink” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., p. 24), and … Read More
Recovery Working the Program I Stayed Abstinent A favorite OA phrase of mine is “willing to go to any length” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., p. 58). Practicing this has helped me stay abstinent, which for me is not eating foods with refined sugar listed in the first four ingredients, for twenty one and a half years. For me, this phrase means: Attending at least two OA meetings … Read More
Tools & Concepts A Potent and Positive Influence After I’d been in OA about two months, stayed abstinent for more than thirty days, and finished my first three Steps, my meeting had a step-up ceremony. During it, my sponsor declared me ready to sponsor and gave me a sponsorship guide manual she’d assembled. “Sponsoring is a way of living Step Twelve,” she said. I thought, “Why do I … Read More
Tools & Concepts Writing Feeling Intentional I write this as the food is calling to me.” This quote from page 13 of A New Beginning: Stories of Recovery from Relapse strikes me as very intentional. The author has made a choice to pick up the pen instead of the fork. The story, “Caring for Myself,” first shares gratitude, then acknowledges the author’s need to do their … Read More
Telephone Tools & Concepts From Phone to Photograph: the Next Right Thing It was 10:30 in the morning, and I was in a dangerous state of mind. I had just broken a promise to myself and gotten on my scale, only to find that its number had not budged a bit. I stared out the kitchen window, my mind racing. “What good is this? I have been abstinent, writing all my food … Read More
Recovery Relationships Family Dinner The clarity of abstinence illuminates my relationships with a more accurate light. My past behaviors require me now to demonstrate a willingness to be flexible and show my family, friends, and associates I’m different inside as well as outside. Here’s a specific example of how practicing the Steps in all my affairs has created a new normal in my life. … Read More
Tools & Concepts Sustaining Actions Working my program by attending special-topic meetings that use the OA-HOW meeting format has taught me how to create an action plan. I’ve also developed the muscle to sustain it and the self-discipline to follow it. Here are ten things that help me work my action plan: Remember abstinence. Abstinence is the most important thing in my life without exception. … Read More