Recovery Relationships Real Love and Innocence Growing up in the home of an alcoholic father with my six other siblings seemed easy while I was in it. It wasn’t until years later that I discovered I was having problems because of it. ln my 60s, I started to notice a problem with food, one that I had to admit had been there all my life. It … Read More
Recovery Relationships Loving Amends Why did I feel like eating? I was working on my Eighth and Ninth Steps—that should have been a clue right there—and I just could not get rid of the hatred I felt toward my grandmother. “Boys don’t cry!”—that’s what she said! So I ate instead, up to over 400 pounds (181 kg)! I knew I wasn’t supposed to hate her, … Read More
Diversity Newcomers Waking Up I walked into OA because all I could see before me was cycles and cycles of weight gain and loss, misery and short-lived false joy. I had to admit I did not want to live. I could not see the point of anything, and my only desire was to sleep or not be conscious because even excess sugar could not … Read More
Fellowship Recovery Practice Space I’m not entirely sure what OA unity means to me, but a specific memory early in my program comes to mind. After a meeting, one member said to another, “I love you if you’re eating. I love you if you’re not eating. I love you because you are a compulsive overeater.” This was one of the kindest things I’d ever … Read More
Relapse Twelfth Step Within Kindred Spirit When we met, I said that I knew there was a reason, and perhaps this is it. Perhaps we may suffer from the same horrible disease, compulsive overeating. For most of my life, I didn’t know that, to me, food was an addiction. Certain foods are like heroin to me. It wasn’t until I went to a meeting that I … Read More
Higher Power Adopting a Loving Attitude Mid-afternoon triggers one of my compulsive food behaviors—munching. Every day, hungry or not, food thoughts start to pester me. One day, I asked my Higher Power, whom I call Loving Mother, to handle the urges for me. “I’ll do what you tell me to,” I assured her. “Well, it’s not really about doing; it’s just about loving.” Her reply surprised … Read More
Recovery Working the Program Putting a HALT to HALT When I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power, I received an insight into how I could remain willing to live in surrender. In recovery, I’ve often been reminded to recognize when I’m hungry, angry, lonely, or tired—the HALT of the program. Even one of these four can set … Read More
Anorexia & Bulimia Diversity Until I Could I am grateful to have been accepted in OA as a person who is not overweight and is a lesbian. My eating disorder began at age 14, when I became aware of my sexual orientation. The thought of being gay was so reprehensible to me that I began hiding myself from myself; I created a distraction by obsessing about food … Read More
Relapse Slipping & Sliding No-Apologies “Carefrontation” Is there anything more heartbreaking than listening to and watching people in program who simply can’t seem to get and stay abstinent? Day after day, month after month, they show up at meetings, but the gift of abstinence eludes them. Compulsive eaters can become so physically sick that they will swear off the abuse for a little while, but a … Read More
Steps Soul Food Step Five is where we begin to learn how to love ourselves. Most of us know something is wrong in the way we’re living, but we have no idea how to address it. When we allow ourselves to get vulnerable with another human being in Step Five, we open a door that creates greater understanding of our personality and character—the … Read More
