Higher Power Grounded by Grace After I shared my Fourth Step inventory with my sponsor, taking the Fifth Step, I moved on and wrote this poem during the hour I spent with God alone as I took Steps Six and Seven. Broad highway Narrow path, narrow steps. Tight rope strung between mountain peaks formed by stories, wrapped in drama, about a life lived overdone. Suspended, … Read More
Higher Power Let God The AA Big Book outlines “the spiritual answer and program of action” (4th ed., p. 42), which hundreds had followed with success at the time it was written. Now millions of people follow the Twelve Step path with miraculous stories of recovery. Ours is a spiritual program. What exactly does that mean? I grew up in an organized religion. As … Read More
Steps Traditions Make a Right Turn If I wasn’t stuffing my mouth with food, I was “verbally vomiting” out of it! My former purpose in “venting” wound up revealing itself to me and others as a lack of acceptance and a failure to trust that God is in control. A lack of acceptance indicates discontent and disagreement; a discrepancy between the way people and things are … Read More
Recovery Working the Program Greater than Gold When my sponsee and I finished the Twelfth Step, we looked at each other and said, “Now what?” It felt more like a letdown than a victory. No certificate was awarded, no pin, no ceremony. A few days later, I made a card that showed a house with a huge gold star in the garage. In the card I wrote: … Read More
Steps Moment by Moment Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. Recently, I found myself in a place of fear, and my gut reaction is to want to control the world around me to feel safe. My … Read More
Literature Tools & Concepts Slogan Direction The Third and Eleventh Steps were difficult for me in the beginning because of the word “will”; “our will” in the Third Step and “His will” in the Eleventh. “Will” sounds so demanding, definitive, coercive, and exacting. However, in the process of writing about Step Three, I came to understand it as “God’s direction.” I believe God is always trying … Read More
Steps Traditions Saying the Words Step Ten: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. Most days, I take personal inventory at the end of the day. It helps me sleep. I inventory fears, resentments, and stressful thoughts and beliefs. Wrongs seem to stem from those. I also list gratitudes, but not the things I think I should be grateful for. … Read More
Steps Amending Fear and Shame Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. For so long, I’ve felt like I lived on an island inside a stone fortress. I lived this way because I believed that people wouldn’t like me and would eventually try to harm me. I hid my feelings, actions, and … Read More
Gratitude Recovery No Stone Unturned OA recovery helps me with my relationships with my Higher Power, myself, and other people. Abstinence gives me clarity to be open to my Higher Power’s messages: I listen to the wisdom of my own body and I hear my HP’s voice in my sponsor and in meetings through members’ shares. I pray to see and hear others through God’s … Read More
Steps Define “Meaningful” Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character I just celebrated my fourteenth year in OA. That’s amazing to me and I’m so grateful that my obsessions with food, overeating, and dieting have almost always been lifted—or I can use Tools or white-knuckle it until the obsession passes, which it quickly does. I have … Read More