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Choosing Well

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I read an article in Lifeline about a person who had a problem she couldn’t fix, so she wrote an article for our magazine, and it stopped her from eating compulsively. I decided to do the same.

I have been a member of OA for almost seventeen years and abstinent for sixteen of them, using the same manageable food plan. Four months ago, I was diagnosed with stomach cancer and had 90 percent of my stomach removed. I am cancer-free today. But instead of being grateful that they found my cancer early through a miracle from my Higher Power, I am complaining about my new food plan.

Now I have to eat five or six times a day in small quantities. I have to be very careful with my measurements because if I try to eat too much at one time my body rejects the food and puts me in discomfort. I know now what it is like to be anorexic, trying to give my body enough nutrition so I don’t lose more weight. I have lost 15 pounds (7 kg) since my cancer was discovered, so I am now underweight. My doctors and nutritionists have told me that my situation should improve, but I am an addict, and I want results now.

Today I just ask God to get me through today. I am grateful I was able to have the surgery. I have a chance to see my two young grandchildren grow up. I still have my sponsees and am starting to do service for my intergroup. Focusing on others will take me out of my own mind. I can still do service for my fellow OA members, especially those who supported me through my difficult time.

My Higher Power has given me a choice today. If I stay positive and seek his will for me I stand a chance to have a life that is joyous and free. If I don’t, I will suffer the same way I suffered seventeen years ago, a slave to the food, angry, and resentful. Guess which one I choose today?

— Edward R., Sharon, Massachusetts USA

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