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Harmonic Power

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When I attended my first OA beginner’s meeting three-and-a-half years ago, I brought a concept of God that I’d cobbled together from childhood. And, coming from a family of atheists, I’d felt an unspoken need to keep my spiritual beliefs a secret. Standing in a circle, holding hands, and saying the Serenity Prayer at that first meeting was terrifying. It was so public! And people said the prayer so loudly!

It took a few meetings, but I became comfortable more quickly than I anticipated. In fact, I started to look forward to the moments at the beginning and end of a meeting when many voices came together to share the prayer. It reminded me of harmonic singing in chorus, how many voices together can sound and feel like thick honey.

As I engaged my program and worked the Steps, I used prayer and meditation often. My concept of God had always felt real, but it was also very vague and wispy. I started to see a Higher Power as a concept, not so much as a being, and that concept was coincidence. For example, a fellow would call right when I felt isolated; or I’d read a passage that expressed exactly what I was feeling or was just what I needed to hear; or I’d resentfully miss a train, only to find that I’d dodged a bullet, such as a power outage or reroute. I started to think of God as the spark of energy that made those coincidences happen.

Over time, I began to see my Higher Power in weather. To me, nature is the most awesome physical manifestation of the world being greater than myself. I would feel God in the wind, the rain, the snow, or the sunshine. So soothing!

My current concept of my Higher Power is now a mix of every type of energy I can imagine: every law of physics (such as gravity), every voice of a fellow at a meeting, weather I can feel on my skin, light I can feel even with my eyes closed during meditation. It is all-encompassing and always present, though often very subtle! I imagine it will continue growing and transforming as I work my program and continue to become what I need it to be. What a miracle!

— Danna W.


Listen to more OA members share their stories about connecting with a Higher Power. Go to oa.org/podcasts to download our “Spiritual Recovery” episode.

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