In recovery, I have freedom from:

  • pretending to be a normal eater and wishing people would just go away so I could eat
  • using all celebrations as an excuse to binge
  • eating secretly as I baked, prepared, and served food—and continuing to eat long afterward
  • squeezing into only a few select pieces of clothing (usually with elasticized waistbands)
  • making commitments I could not keep
  • trying to force myself to be good enough to deserve the God of my childhood, but feeling over and over that I’d failed him
  • eating food just to please people
  • trying to be perfect and never ever getting there
  • having constant voices in my head calling me “good” or “bad” depending on my weight and food choices
  • manipulating restaurant decisions in order to diet or binge
  • trying never to feel angry or unhappy
  • getting on and off the scale, sometimes up to four times a day
  • trying to run away from myself when I found myself alone
  • focusing on the negative and finding fault
  • struggling never to feel uncomfortable or disturbed—but inevitably feeling uncomfortable and disturbed most of the time

In recovery, I have freedom to:

  • openly express my eating needs and explain to people why I need to be abstinent
  • celebrate special occasions abstinently without food being the main focus
  • define and evolve a Higher Power of my own understanding, and feel loved and cared for instead of condemned and punished
  • choose any piece of clothing from my wardrobe and know it will fit me from one day and one season to the next
  • bake, prepare, and serve food without obsessing, only eating inside my food plan
  • make and honor commitments and trust myself to do so
  • politely refuse food not on my plan, putting my abstinence first
  • be honestly and openly mistake making, imperfect, and human; and happily embrace being that way
  • be free of mental obsession, one day at a time
  • eat out abstinently, anywhere
  • not even own a scale today and only infrequently weigh myself when I visit the doctor
  • be at peace in my own company
  • focus on the positive with an attitude of gratitude
  • feel the full range of my emotions and express them appropriately
  • be comfortable with the uncomfortable and feel peace amidst a disturbance

— Heather E., Wellington, New Zealand

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